Snow's here ! Or maybe not ...

I like Snow.

Although it's a bad idea for my shoulder, I like throwing snowballs at people. I'm usually nimble enough too to have a chance to dodge out the way of Revenge Snowballs. I was the first person a few years ago to have a Snowman - I went out in late evening and built a miniature Snowthing on one of my wheelybins. And I really miss having a SnowSmiley picture on my phone to show random people who I think are in need of seeing a Big Grin.

SnowThing pic : is at this post
(he looks kinda pissed there)
SnowSmiley : is at this other post
(the SnowSmiley pic was from my last phone)

Had the first snow for a while this morning but it was very light and didn't stick around. Think we need to offer prayers to the Snow Gods for more snow. At least for a couple of days because the snow novelty tends to wear thin about 5 seconds after you get stuck for the first time.

My last car had a habit of getting me halfway to work fine. And then the traction control and ABS would cry "NO MORE !" and disable themselves. Usually precisely halfway. Not sure what this one will do - it has less power, more weight, better weight distribution but double the torque. Could be interesting on ice. But it'll be better than the Puma which only had very crude traction control.

Other stuff - I got to meet my sister's bloke over the weekend. He can stay. We gathered together for my dad's birthday (he's 21 + a lot). And it was a pretty chilled out weekend too. And SuperWaitress at the Swanholme thought I'd lost a stone since I was last there too, which made me grin. (Actual tally is 0.5 stone)

More other stuff - my mind is a little muddled at the moment because I'm worried about a couple of people at work ... And my reaction to it. I'm recognising a huge case of deja vu in what's going on there. Both situations. Although the deja vu is more applicable to one than the other :

Depression is nasty - and I can recognise the hopelessness that inspires it from a few incidents in my past. I'm lucky though that my depression cycles have been due to events rather than chemical/biological issues.
Breakups are as bad - except that other people are involved. Depression tends to be a solitary problem, which makes it harder for other people to realise how big the problem is.

I can still remember the long drawn out heartache from when my last major relationship broke up. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. In my case, it was my partner walking out and demanding her cut of the equity we'd gained in the house. I believe she thought that I would have to sell up, however I was confident (with the knowledge I'd been paying about 3/4 of the mortgage anyway and the major bills) that I'd be able to ride it through. It still cost me a 5 figure sum to buy her out though, which worked out to extra money on the mortgage, a reset of the 25 year clock and some lean times for the next few years.

(That's the first time I've exposed that truth outside very few people, like count 'em on one hand)

What made it worse is that Evil Ex* continued on with a theme of upsetting people, to the point where she rapidly alienated herself from my little circle of valued friends. *I only use the name "Evil Ex" because of the alliteration factor :-) Alienation factor gone, alliteration amusement factor - high :-) I'd like to think I'm over it to the point of being able to give a hug if we meet again socially ... but it does take two people to make a hug.

The house equity was only half of it though. For at least six months after, I caused myself untold self inflicted emotional damage by rebounding left and right on people where I was quite frankly, kidding myself. Rejection can do nasty things to a mind already grieving for a relationship. I'm curious as to how other people saw me over those 6-12 months. I know I was a mess inside.

Yep - it hit me hard and still affects me, although not nearly as much as when the wounds were open and bleeding. But because I've been through it, I can recognise the hell that might be about to erupt for a certain person.

I hope it doesn't work out that way - I always have my fingers crossed for Good Things, even if I'm just watching from the outside.

Oh dear - I've Wall Of Texted again. Last word - if you think someone around you has lost Hope, give 'em a helping hand. A little "I believe in you" can go a long way with a person who has lost sight of something to hope for. And if there's one thing I do so much it could be counted as a fault (definitely causes my Real Boss exasperation!), it's help people out where I can. (Although communication skills and confidence gets in the way of people asking)