Hello again world, it's been a while again

Crikey ! Almost a month again since my last post.

I think that's the longest I've gone between posts since I had the break between 2006 and 2008. There's been a few things going on ... Let's see. But first ! Thumbnail pic. Thumbnail pic is very important.

Yep. It's a chocolate dwagonsaur and it was glorious. When I saw it in the service station on Saturday, I knew I'd seen my latest Easter Avatar. And like the marshmallow advent calendar, I got to munch him too.

This post looks like it's kinda going to go a bit backwards in time but Saturday saw me in the Gloucester services again. The one with an amazing farm shop ... Sherbets and bonbons may have jumped in to the shopping basket as well as the chocolate dwagonsaur. Oh and I suspect their canteen gave me some hidden extras that saw me going back and forward to the loo on Saturday evening. All ok now. But I'm waiting until next weekend before I attack the Pineapple chunks again.

Or it could have been that ^.

Oh - Gloucester services, on the way back from getting the car serviced and people attempting to sell me another new car. I've only had this one for a year ! To be honest, I was getting a bit irritated by it, which is a first for that place. One thing that sets Lexus apart is how they treat their customers and I thought trying to get me into another new car after just a year was a bit much.

The car they were looking to get me in to was their fairly new Lexus UX which, thinking about it, nope. It feels like they've let the designers run with ideas that shouldn't necessarily have been let out of the design school. The CT was a genuinely luxury small car that combined great practicality too. It's only real flaw is that the Prius powertrain isn't powerful enough. The IS suits me just fine, it's a comfy cruiser, fairly minimalist but that also means it's uncluttered. The UX is more compressed and a few bits of its design don't really make sense. It has more toys ... but it's also more cluttered and I think less intuitive on the inside. It also has a really high boot floor. I don't use the boot that much but I do like not having to lift things too high to get them in to the boot. Oh and I'll also change boots/shoes (work stuff) with my feet on the boot sill and I think that sill was high enough to endanger trousers.

So - Stan* is all serviced for another year, tyres are all pumped up and the pointiness is back in the steering. All good. I think the tyres were steadily going down, which led to bad fuel economy on the last few tanks. And some sponginess in the steering too, which I didn't notice until it was gone. (Small gradual changes tend not to be noticed !)

*Car names ! Not all of my cars have had names, just the well liked ones. There have been two Buggies ... The Astra and the Puma (I'll get back to the Puma) were both well loved Buggies. The CT I had was the Tardis cos it was just the right blue :

Shiny. The first IS I had was the Grey Ghost, because it was really quiet and grey. This also happened to be the nickname of USS Enterprise in World War 2. So when the next grey IS arrived, it became Alpha. Because NCC 1701A was almost identical to NCC 1701. And then following that meme, NCC 1701B was an Excelsior class Enterprise and Stan Lee (RIP) loved using the word Excelsior. NCC 1701C was an Ambassador class Enterprise, only seen for one of the best ST:TNG episodes (Yesterday's Enterprise). What ambassador could it be ?

Puma ... here's a proper Puma :

I had that car for I think 7 years. The car itself was a big upgrade from the Fiesta, built on the same chassis but given a lot of improvements. It was a lovely little sports coupe and on one occasion, pulled a "MOMMY MOMMY IT'S A SPACESHIP" from a very young passing by boy, which pulled an ear to ear grin from me hearing it. The new Puma is a small SUV. That's heresy. At least pull out a new name !

I've been recovering from jet lag too. A significant amount of the time since the last post was spent in Canada ... Yep. Different country ! (Not counting Wales and Scotland there ...) Different continent ! 3 different time zones ... Or was it 4 time zones. Might have been. I didn't switch to Toronto time on the way back although I did do Ottawa time. Or was Ottawa on the final location time.

I have to be a little careful about that final location because I've already had a "I know exactly where that is !" comment from a picture that went on a discord. A local identified pretty much the exact spot I was standing in. It didn't have anything work related on it (the pic was a moody shot towards a bridge, illuminated by the morning sun) but the Canada trip is definitely a case of potential 1+1 = 3 and you have to be really careful about that on the internet.

So what I mean there is : You know the country. If I said the city, you know the dates as well. And if you saw things in the news about unusual events going on ... then you guess what I was working on. That's not information I want aggregating up to be on the interwebs. Because once it's on the interwebs, it doesn't come off, despite what GDPR and Right to Delete would like to safeguard.

But yeah ! Canada ! Enjoyed my time there, although I did have what could be described as dislocation shock for a bit. The people are great and the reputation that Canadians have for Total Politeness is very much deserved. They're a lovely bunch. All of them ! And very patient with the Brit in town looking to not make too many mistakes and social errors.

When I arrived though, it snowed. They seem amazing about attacking the snow and clearing the roads sufficiently for driving around on them with no impact ... but the snow had just come down when I arrived and the 100km/h multi lane highways were maybe 50km/h single lane of ice. And there may have been a 4 wheel understeer skid coming out of the airport too which woke me up a bit ! Maybe "woken up" is the wrong word there, more like "made me sit up and pay attention". I don't drive on extreme ice much but it just needs an adjustment of mindset and a lot of chilling out to avoid getting in trouble on the ice. 4x4 helps too.

Curiosities about Canada :
Road signs are easier to understand, although I pretty much blanked most of the main ones due to relying on satnav.
They love their flavoured coffee. I see this as a good thing, although it has pretty much confirmed an issue I have with Ginger. It must upset a problem with my insides.
I really miss buttery popcorn. It is lush. (And 1917 is a fantastic film I got to see there in time away from work).
Pedestrians are king. People stop for you in the designated crossing areas. GB could not be more different there. I was in danger of being run over again tonight by someone who wasn't looking where she was driving in a car park.
They really love their flavoured coffee.
Biscuits come in boxes, not packets.
They have Mini Eggs too ...
4 hours of time zone difference can mess you up when you get back !
All the sidewalks and roads were clear of snow by the end of the day after it snowed. Huge amounts of snow around that mind ...

Huge pile of snow !

I've probably said this already but the people were lovely.

I'd happily recommend Canada as a place to go when it's the actual season. Maybe half the places in the more touristy area were closed, because we went there at a specific time of year to get the conditions we needed.

I was rationing my energy somewhat and attempting to avoid too much time zone shock though, so I didn't get out too much around the actual work stuff. But it was a good couple of weeks out there :-).

Last thought - I'm being slightly wary of coronavirus, although I'm not taking any precautions over and above the baseline of minding my sneezes and washing the hands. I saw a very small number of people in the airports wearing masks, plus one of the cabin crew wore a mask on the way back. I'm not sure if she was wearing the mask for protection from bugs or to stave off potential discrimination. She was a pretty Asian lady, which made me think there was potential for Bad People to think Asian = Carrier. That's bad. We should be better than that as a people. Anyway, she was lovely and got the smiles from me.

Be good to people. The Canadians are lovely. Don't trust Samsung ... but that's a different story.

(Ok, ok, I had my Galaxy S7 out there with a temporary SIM card, had to turn data off on it because it was munching my credit and ... it was still using tiny amounts of data, at a much reduced rate but still enough to trigger the minimum 7 cents charge, with the data OFF.)

I have bonbons. Cya !

PPS Books read while out there : Murderbot Chronicles 1 by Martha Wells - short, great. Much enjoyed. Tiamat's Wrath, book 8 of the Expanse by James S.A. Corey - another excellent book in the series that moved the story on in dramatic fashion. Wondering how they'll end it in the next book. A Big Ship At The End Of The Universe by Alex White - space scifi mixed in with a healthy dose of Magic. The premise was new, different, odd and ... actually worked extremely well in this book. I've wishlisted the next two in the series and will read them at some point. And I've made a start on Old Man's War by John Scalzi (mutter car mutter salesmen mutter interrupting reading mutter mutter mutter)

Beaming Up

This might be the last post I can write for a while.

Yep. They've come to take me away.

That sounds wrong. It's actually a totally willing departure. You see, I appear to have attracted attention from up there. Yep. Up there, in the sky and beyond.

This means I think I've figured out where those hits come from where the country of origin isn't defined. Because there is no country of origin ! They told me that they've been reading what I've written about space, about piloting, about engineering and they think I have potential. Perhaps they are harvesting others too ?

Actually I wouldn't call it harvesting. I'm currently in the orientation centre (they're letting me compose this message as a preparation for what I'll write later) where they are preparing my simulacrum. That's a lifesize replica which will be left behind in my place here. There will be an instantaneous link (don't ask me about the science ... yet ! It's one of the things I fully intend to learn) that means I will be able to talk to people on Earth through a kind of telepresence. So if you talk to me and I seem a little distant, my simulacrum is looking for instructions from me, the one and only original.

How come this is happening now ? Apparently there is trouble coming and they need a few of us humble Earthlings to help keep this trouble at bay. We have a certain ... inspiration ? that will help in their war against the coming threat. They won't tell us what this threat is yet. Come on ! We're not scared ! (Perhaps that's the real reason why they want us on board). They have mentioned the phrase "Cybo-Homo Arcturan Variant" and that these unruly creatures are a threat to all.

I do keep hearing another phrase over and over : "Never give up, never surrender" and the main person we've been liasing with is Grabthar, Hammer of Rigel. That's a great phrase.

They aren't sending us off to the front just yet. We need orientation. To learn what we're getting into. To get us up to speed with the technology. The ways and means of doing things in the Federation. The food ! It's replicated out of pattern. They say it's all the healthy components that make up the diet we need but it doesn't taste healthy. It tastes glorious and in my experience, if it's healthy it's supposed to be yuk.

How can we understand people ?

We got jabbed by these little guys shortly after being beamed up and not long after that, we could understand our alien colleagues. It's going to be strange getting used to the variety of races up here.

This all sounds like I've been abducted doesn't it ? Kinda yeah.

This was all my own choice, although it will hurt to leave a certain few very special people behind. Maybe in the second wave they can come too ? That would be awesome. It would expand the team. Honestly, I just heard the word "SPACESHIP!" and I was gone.

 

After all, everything is awesome if you're part of a team.

Being brought on board for two things I love dearly was just a bonus. That'd be the engineering that makes these things go and the chance to be pilot. That's what they saw from keeping an eye on me. Someone who would be able to understand the machines, to keep them going, to be that balanced person with a viewpoint that picks people up when they're struggling. To have second specialisations as pilot and trained observer. That's really useful when things get dangerous. Have a crew end up stranded on a planetoid because your one pilot had a mischief happen ? Tragedy. Oh, I was evaluated for a more martial role supporting their stormtrooper corps but they thought I was a little short.

They also want me looking after what they affectionately refer to as Cogs. You wouldn't believe it but these adorable bits of fur are a mix of cat and dog, genetically engineered from specimens taken from our world over a hundred years ago. They combine the loyalty of our cats and dogs, the vigilance of dogs, the cleverness of cats and have the canine and feline parts of their nature acting together in harmony unknown on this planet. Miracles.

I think they added some rabbit too for the improved hearing.

They have massive advances in medical technology too. They can replace my dodgy hip and shoulder with totally organic replacements. That means the replacements are as good as new and work with your body so as to become a part of it. The veterans who spoke with us about it referred to the process as becoming "Whole Again" as the new part is grown from a genetic Marker and reintroduced to replace useless or missing limbs. Magic.

The engineering is something else too ! There are backup panels to control the machines but the main method is through mind power. Through direct neural interface. I had a little try (need training to manage the sensory input load) and as a pilot, it's like you become the ship. Your eyes are the sensors, in all spectra. Your arms and feet are the thrusters. Your circulatory system becomes the power, air, fluids that keep the ship going.

Yet the technology is a mix of organic and mechanical. Cyborg if you will. That's so that the systems can repair themselves and survive without power when necessary. Organic is supplemented by the machine, the machine is repaired by the organic.

What's that ! I hear sirens as the FIF Iceangel (Federation Induction Frigate or FIFI as the crew call her) is being called to alert and Grabthar is waving urgently. Gotta go !

See you around the galaxy!

Weekend mayhem

Last weekend saw me taking a run up to the parents place for the birthdays.

It wasn't just my birthday last week, it's the sister's too. Our birthdays are 2 days apart (and a classified* number of years)

*(If I told you, you'd be ok but she'd hunt me down and kill me. Slowly.)

They're ok up there. The Family is full of people with active brains. We have to be doing Stuff all the time. Mum and Dad have been struggling a bit there since they retired but they're still finding things to keep them busy. (It's a big house with a bigger veggie garden than most people's allotments). Mum's doing better recently too, she's injured her arm quite badly and it's a difficult fix (bad muscles, bad tendons and both ganging up on the other).

Enter the Puppy.

The Family's always had dogs. We had a cat for a while too. Not sure what happened to Patch, it's been a few decades. The latest family pooch is Ben, who's been with us for a few years now. He's a Staffy with as good a temperament as you'd ever want in a dog. Possibly too chill because he won't do what Scruff did once - bark so loudly (think there was some foaming in there too) at the doorstoppers that "Go away or my dog will eat you" would have been very believable. Ben is a lot more placid than that.

I don't have a dog, there's not enough room here and I'd need to dog proof the back yard. Besides, the poor fella would be on his own all day and that's no way for a muttley to live.

New Puppy ? He's called Murph (short for Murphy 2) and he'll be a massive labrador when he grows up. He's only 21 weeks at the moment. Here he is :

That's a really sweet face isn't it ? There happened to be meat scraps involved ...

He's got massive paws, you can see how long that tail is and the legs are pretty long too. His body hasn't caught up yet, so he seems scrawny. When he gets his adult size, he'll be able to pull carts. Fast too. I'm wondering if his nickname should be Little Monster (for the size he'll grow to) or Missile.

Lovely dog, although Ben was having issues. Didn't know how to deal with the puppy. Hopefully when Murph comes next time, Ben will assert himself a bit more as Alpha Dog. Pooches need to do that, they need to establish their pecking order or the younger dogs will take too many liberties with the older dogs.

But yeah, I reckon he'll turn into a very sweet affectionate dog who keeps an eye on his people.

Weekends like that wipe me out though. I'm just about regaining enough energy to count as "Very Tired", so I'm looking forward to Xmas when I'll get a good chance to have a rest. Not just that, I've twisted my knee and I'm also nursing a minor ankle sprain. Add to that the usual stuff where my body dislikes the cold (fine when I'm moving, warming up is the issue !) and I'm looking for quiet time.

Not that long to go until Xmas.

Nothing's been mentioned yet but there will be another Crazie meet up where we can chill out in company. I'll head back to the parents for a few days too (likely to have a few visitors too). Wonder if something extraordinary will happen and I get to treat someone ? No likelihood of that at the moment sadly.

It's a chill out evening tonight too. Plan A was to head off to the Mall but traffic was bad (there will be other nights and I can pick and choose when I face that traffic).

There's a Bright Yellow See Me From Space Hat that's calling me. I need it.

Travel ... lots of it

Well - maybe not as much as that but :

Weekend - off to see my mum and dad for Father's Day. My sister and I don't tend to get back there too much so it's good to pay a visit occasionally. Lol - only occasionally because I like my freedom to have the music going, random stuff on telly and videos/games on the PCs.

Oh and there's also the tendency to break out into song as I join in with something that's come over iTunes. I don't tend to do that when there's other people around. (Except if there are Hot Swedish Girls on Mumble). Actually, I think it's one thing that may have contributed (in a small way) to my last relationship breakup. The songs I tended to join in on where the heartbreak type theme songs. Oops.

Anyway - it's All About Eve's Are You Lonely at the moment and yesterday I nearly made someone start screaming when Goldfrapp's Head First started on the iPod. I won't be doing the singing thing that much tonight, for the next couple of hours at least I can only see a couple of Seal songs in the queue as being potential sing-a-longs.

Yep - Father's Day run last weekend. They're still worried about me because they see some of the signs of my skin condition that I can't hide from them like I do everyone else. It is improving - but very slowly and I have to be very careful as to not set that healing back.

But I don't want to dwell on my skin condition. If I do, I'll unconsciously drive myself to "helping" it more ... Which is bad.

Talking of travelling - the parents thought the Spa Grand Prix trip has potential. Although they'd want to stay a bit longer than just the weekend. I would too, although I have in my mind the 5 day return limit on some Eurotunnel tickets. It's quite an expensive trip too with the whole weekend costing at least £800 per person.

We shall see.

Outside of travelling - it's summer. Which means :

Summer dresses. Yey !
Also means summer sales. GoG.com have one started already for old games. If there's some classics that you miss because they don't run on modern PCs, check out GoG.com. It stands for Good Old Games and what they do is take old games (some from the DOS days) and make them run on current hardware. Sometimes it's not so old games too. The Witcher 2 is on there, as is Don't Starve.

And I'm now thinking of those summer dresses again and maybe revising a plan for the rest of the week. Plan A was to bring my work laptop in on Friday because they like us to connect them directly to the works network occasionally. And on Friday, I'd have the car. However ... it means I'm not supposed to leave the laptop in the car unattended, which would put a dampener on the potential of a trip into town or the Mall.

I think I may do the laptop thing tomorrow instead by lugging the laptop on the bus with me. Not ideal but still feasible. We shall see. (I'll do it Friday because rain is predicted and it will scare those summer dresses away).

Oh - more travelling. Yesterday was what's becoming an annual pilgrimage to :

That's Lords from the top of the Edrich stand, looking at the pavilion. And that's from one of the rare moments where shadows were sighted ...

It was a good day's cricket yesterday, although the standard wasn't as high as you'd like. Sloppy fielding and batting that got strangled easily meant the games weren't that close and therefore weren't as exciting.

Cricket in the sun can be a good chilled out day in the fresh air. I'm thinking of watching a few more games, possibly at Worcester's ground. Taunton for Somerset is the wrong side of Bristol so there's a huge chance of getting caught up in the motorway traffic.

Anyway - T20 county cricket at Worcester - anyone local interested in chilling out at the cricket ?

Healthy food is ... healthy ?

Just come back from a weekend away ... in the middle of a couple of hours chillout before bedtime (Everything But The Girl's excellent Amplified Heart is on right now).

Let's see :

Almost turned around inside 20 miles of driving because conditions were pretty bad. The inside lane of the M5 was flooded in quite a few places and it was almost bad enough to avoid the lane entirely. I didn't, pushed through it and the sun came out around Worcester. I still needed to divert off my first choice route (there's fun roads near Grantham) because part of it had a major road (A52) closed.

Cue a bit of magical mystery tour ... One of the things I'm a huge fan of with my car is the satnav.

It gets criticism from some numpties cos it is a bit crude compared to some. However ... it works 100%, unlike the attempt at using my Android phone for satnav which was abandoned before it even figured out where it was. It also does traffic avoidance via FM Radio, so while I was seeing "Long delays M42 J6-J9" (another part of my route) on the overhead signs the satnav was figuring out how to let me avoid that traffic without losing too much time. It works too - taking me around Birmingham to the North instead of the South only cost me about 10 minutes.

That's enough about the car though, except that I quite like that it cost £46 in petrol for all the driving this weekend (+maybe £2 for the last 25 miles) at 53mpg. The Focus would have done 32mpg over the weekend costing £77. The Lexus is a far better drive too.

Arrived on Friday to find a new toy ... And commenced fiddling with it to set it up as desired.

Cue some hours of being incredibly frustrated with Google's software. You should be able to "Cloud Print" via Google Chrome. Get this :

Grab a bit of software for your printer.
Install the Google Chrome web browser.
Tell Google Chrome that you want your printer hooked up for Cloud Printing.
Keep the Chrome browser open (WTF!)
Attempt to print to it from an Android device.
And commence the hair tearing frustration.

I may try it again with the Kodak printer I've inherited. It's fairly new, it just doesn't understand Cloud Printing the way the new ones do. Oh - the new toy is an Asus Transformer Pad. It's quite Shiny. Not sure about its shininess compared to an iPad but it's still quite Shiny. It comes with a detachable keyboard that lets it pretend to be a laptop. It's a little ... different but it redeemed itself from early frustration which was more to do with Google software being crap. They promise the world but miss crucial things out. I'd expect the Tablet Pad to have a help system reasonably visible with a "This Is How To Print" in big letters somewhere.

Currys & PC World lie through their teeth. Currys refused to take the Transformer Pad back or let us switch it for a Windows laptop. That would have sorted out a lot of issues (but I think the Transformer Pad will do them ok). The result is that Currys are blacklisted by my mum & dad for a while - and I'll be avoiding them to.

What's this about lying ?

The Staples guy was honest. He said he didn't know whether the printers in his shop supported Cloud Printing. The Currys guy pointed us towards HP printers "They're the only ones that support this". The PC World girl (charming she was and apparently holding the store's brain cell) admitted that HP and Epson printers could do what we wanted.

I wonder what printers they are desperate to sell ? Duh. Here's the gen from Google for what supports Cloud Printing. You'll notice Kodak on there too. We avoid the Canon, HP, Epson, Lexmark cartel because they rip you off for cartridges and we avoid HP in particular because their build quality nosedived when Carly Fiorina got hold of them. They went from making industrial bombproof strength bits to epic fail.

We came out of Staples with a shiny new Kodak Hero 5.1. Me Like. I can print to it from half a world away just by emailing it. That's Shiny. Or I could print to it from my phone. I've inherited their not-so-old Kodak ESP5250 all in one scanner to replace my Piece Of Shit HP (broken page feeder and it would have been £40+ to get the cartridges to reactivate it).

Yeah - talking techie, weekend started with the hair being torn out and ended very happily. Everything works, Shinies were acquired and the Shinies do what we want them to. If the printer is new enough to support Cloud print properly without needing A-Chrom-ination active, then Google Cloud Print (and Kodak print by email) is quite Shiny.

Happy days.

It's good to see the mob up there too and catch up. Also means I get fed properly :-) I should really do that myself as it really wouldn't be that much extra effort or attention to add veg to the "chuck it in oven & forget about it" cooking strategy. Yep - I'm a bit lazy there ... but it's part of preferring stuff that isn't messy, bearing in mind it's me that's going to be clearing up the mess.

In terms of weight - hopping on the scales before my shower saw me at 12st 8-9lbs, which is down another few lbs over the weekend. Healthy eating = good for you. Then again, I'd not eaten that much today, just a big dinner at the pub plus a Twix and assorted Minstrels left over from Friday.

Bit sad at missing out on a potential RCA hug though !

It be damp in them thar hills ...

Weekend at mum's and dad's for me this one, I just got back and am settling in front of the telly for the superbowl. And I'm trying to reconcile having no clock under the telly. My "clock" has been pressed back into service as a video for my nan as she broke hers and the replacement my mum & dad had was too smart and wouldn't work. So my nan has mine, which is a nice and stupid £99 one that I've had for years. It got its redundancy notice when I got me a Sky Plus box.

Was surprised by the roads this weekend, apart from one or two road closures, the roads were nearly empty. I do tend to travel in the evening though, so all the nutters tend to be clear before I hit the road. And road closures don't affect you too much if you have a satnav to babysit you. Weather was clear over in Lincolnshire but went very damp down the M5. Nothing dangerous but damp.

Friday night - got mugged by the dog. My parents only have one dog now, we had to say farewell to Charlie last year because old age was making his life a misery. If a dog can't even get in and out of his chair because his legs don't work right and goes "do I have to?" when it's walk time, then it's time to think about letting them pass on. Charlie's hunting wabbits and cats now and has willing slaves throwing balls for him to run after and bring back, he's in a happier place. We definitely miss him though.

Ben's seeming to gather neuroses though. He didn't have a very good christmas due to being stressed out. We had Xmas at my sister's place this year, which is definitely out of Ben the Staffy's comfort zone. He's a lovely dog is Ben, he just stresses when he doesn't need to.

New toys this weekend - my sister got one of the FM transmitter things that let you connect an iPod or MP3 player up to a car radio. I've had one for around a year now, sister's had to catch up there because her car cd player is bust.

Had a case of deja vu last night, the head waitress at the pub we had dinner at was very much like our IT Girl. Just rather larger than our pixie. Same bounce and good humour though. (Must not stare at waitresses!)

PS 598 tracks, 1.6 days music listened to over past fortnight.
PS2 England let the Welsh win. Been a while since I've seen a worse case of a game being thrown.