Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Rumble in the Jungle

This is Iceangel, reporting from the depths of the Stranglethorn Vale jungle in southern Azeroth.

I, and 19 other intrepid explorers, are delving into the depths of the much feared Zul'Gurub region. Our mission ? To fight our way through hostile snakes, trolls and Damn Big Stone Things to tame a dinosaur, take a few cheeky pictures of the god Hakkar while he's not looking and to pull the whiskers off the Panther boss.

The scene is set, everyone is here and my fellow mages have made supplies for the rest of the group. Nobody's going hungry or thirsty in our team. And we're going in ... Hmm - resistance is being observed from some big snakey things ... Or rather it was, they take one look at Towwy and just melt into a melted pool of frost ... Onwards the group moves, fighting as we go. The natives are definitely restless but their resistance is futile.

We soon reach the "Panther boss" and our Revered Leader Sarai tells us the plan. The "Panther Boss" isn't actually a panther but has pets. How many pets ! Blimey ! We're outnumbered ... Unfortunately, this is where our resistance turned futile. Even after unleashing hell, frost mage style (our hell is frozen over), we couldn't cope with that many panther pets. We only escaped when it appeared that Miss Panther tired of feeding us to her panthers and refused to appear again ... I think next time we'll see a note pinned to the wall saying "Do not feed the animals, they ate so much last time they exploded"

Next step - onwards to the moat. What is there in the water ? We expected fish but we did not expect a THREE HEADED HYDRA ! It was about 40 foot tall. If you've ever been chased by the T Rex King Mosh from the Un'Goro crater, you'll know the kind of size I'm thinking of. Oh and what is my friend Skycn doing to that other fish ? He turned it into a sheep. That's not right. Poor fish will take ages shaking itself dry.

My fellow explorers and I were starting to get tired by this stage of our journey, there's only so much conjured water you can take before you start to flag. (We need to petition the Blizzard Gods to add conjured coffee to the inventory)

We didn't manage to capture any trophies from Gahz'Rilla or any whiskers from the Panther princess but I can't remember a more fun expedition. Even though we weren't getting much success, we were giving it our best and knowing that we could well afford to express the good humour in which our expedition was held.

Already looking forward to the next one, although I don't think I'll get the sun tan in the dank Dustwallow Marsh that we get in the more southern Stranglethorn Vale. Next expedition - we're heading to the part of the map that says "Here be Dragons..."

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