A Cause, Some Pain And a Relic

Hello everyone,

I'm a little overdue about promoting a cause !

There we go.

Long time readers will recognise the little lady on the left there. She'll be taking part in a stream on Friday 21st August that's dedicated to a fundraiser for ending the virus of racism. In this case, it's focusing on the endemic racism we've been seeing directed towards pretty much anyone of Asian descent.

Here's the fundraiser link : https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/endthevirusofracism

This isn't just about the plague that's out there at the moment either. The racism has been out there a lot longer than that. It's a fear of Different.

Sod that. Difference is good. Difference is strength. Difference is interesting. Difference gives us new perspectives, new stories, new things to learn. New ways to do things. It should be a positive, not something to bully people with.

If you're a regular reader, you should know me well enough to know that I hate it when people can't fight back. This particular cause has roots in how the media is presenting the Coronavirus. Even our BBC pretty much always has the Asian person in a mask as a symbol for the virus.

That's wrong. It promotes a stereotype that gets people hurt. It's rare that I get angry about things but I'm angry when I know that people I know and care about are facing abuse born from the ignorance of others. And I'm even more incensed because the people triggering this abuse are the media, who are the voice that dominates opinion.

It's tough to fight a message if the abusers have all of the megaphones.

They'll be on Kim's channel at 2pm BST (GMT+1) tomorrow, which is really convenient cos that's around the time I'll close the work laptop up (I work longer in the week so I can wrap up early on the Friday). Here's the link : https://www.twitch.tv/nanokim

I can guarantee it'll be emotional. There will be many stories that will hopefully open your eyes. It'll be powerful.

How about me and the Some Pain ?

(credits in the picture)
I'm still struggling at the moment. The perverse thing is that the pain I have in my arm and wrist is ok for working at home but is likely to be very bad in games. I've been in games only a couple of times in the evening this week, once for a Battletech session, once for Motorsport Manager. They're both fairly hands off games.

I may have to abandon Final Fantasy XIV early. I've been liking it ! But that MMO playstyle seems to be really bad for my wrist.
I'm looking at alternate control methods for the internet spaceship because the yaw mechanism is triggering occasional spasms.

The issues I'm coping with at the moment are mainly :
Back - the lower lumbar area that I hurt when I was 17 never really fully healed and occasionally flares again. I think it got activated by stress tension and the muscles reacted. Anyway, that one can give the "My Strings Got Cut" feeling that I guess people with a bad back all know about. It also causes soreness in my left leg, as the damaged area impacts the nerves going into the leg.
Shoulder and arm - I think I said something about this a few weeks ago. I think the joint moved again and the arm settled into the Not Quite Right place which means I get numbness in the arm and the impacted circulation will amplify that RSI tendency.
Hips - this problem started with the cricket again but massively increased in the worst days of my skin condition (99% fixed now) when I was sitting on the floor. My hips are wrecked ... I can walk around ok when I can actively control the movements but standing and turning can lead to screaming.

But apart from that, I'm ok. As long as I'm managing the issues and avoiding the activities that make them worse, I'm not needing painkiller assistance to cope with them.

I'm in a far better position than a lot of people there and I have to remember that because if I have the pain now, it'll inevitable worsen when I'm even older.

On another note though ... Relic ? Nah. That's not me. Check this out :

Perhaps a preview of something I have in mind for December's Advent series ...

The game is Neverwinter Nights, which originally came out in June 2002. This was a quite flawed but brilliant game. It had many critics who came from the Baldur's Gate series and they were upset because it appeared dumbed down with only a couple of characters in the party, compared to the 6 of the earlier Baldur's Gate Infinity Engine games.

My response to that is that while I bounced off all of the Baldur's Gate games (and the new Pathfinder Kingmaker game) due to the micromanagement you had to do in those, I took to the simpler Neverwinter Nights and played the hell out of it.

The big step onwards that it took between Baldur's Gate 1 and 2 and Neverwinter Nights was to turn the play area from 2d predrawn backgrounds into a mostly 3d environment. that had its critics too because the environments and models were pretty crude.

But that was the technology we had at the time. I think I'd have been playing this on either a 450MHz machine or a 2GHz Athlon XP and a distant ancestor of the graphics cards we have now. (Probably a 3dfx Voodoo2 with a whopping 8MB of memory)

I didn't particularly care about the graphics though. They tended to be a bit fuzzy anyway because that's how cheaper cathode ray tube monitors were. LED/LCD monitors are so much better.

Nope. I was drawn into the story much more and massively enjoyed it. I even have the walkthrough book somewhere. So I just had to go a bit further and acquire the two expansions when they came out in 2003.

This was a game from the days when they came in boxes with goodies too. In this case, a manual, 3 dvds and that map you see in the background as well.

Good times. (Although these goodies pale in comparison to what came with Falcon 4. Hopefully I can find that before December !)

People still play Neverwinter Nights too. The stream I have on the laptop is Distracted Elf (Twitch link) playing on a multiplayer Neverwinter Nights server. They made an excellent platform here.

Hopefully Kim's platform tomorrow will be super successful too. I'll bid you good night there, one more linkage !
Twitch stream : https://www.twitch.tv/nanokim
Crowdfunder : https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/endthevirusofracism

Good night everyone, stay safe, be nice to people you meet.

Bank Holiday Pain. Also spaceships and cricket

I had a plan this weekend !

I had intended to go visit the Book Barn again as they were running another bank holiday sale. Nope. Leg had other plans.

(And I do hope that's one of those occasions where dog wasn't having to be super tolerant of small human).

What happened to the leg ? I don't actually know. I have a vague recollection of a very heavy leg cramp on Thursday night / Friday morning but I thought that was lower leg. Apparently I had a heavy strain or tear in one of the muscles on my upper leg, on the inside. Couldn't straighten the leg properly. Very tender, very sore. Couldn't touch it for Pain. Was struggling to get around the house on Saturday and Sunday after it tightened up on the Friday afternoon / evening. Definitely wasn't feeling like doing anything strenuous or stressful like gaming.

Oh and my back was joining in too, being its own wall of pain. Ouch.

I rarely resort to painkillers but it was very tempting over the weekend. Would have involved walking to the place where the painkillers are though and I wans't too sure if I'd get that far.

So Bookbarn on Sunday or Monday was a case of "maybe next time".

Cricket was awesome though this weekend. There hasn't been a finish like that to a Test Match since .... Sri Lanka pulled off something similarly (but much less spectacular) last ditch earlier this year to I believe South Africa.

Definitely enjoyed catching that on the telly over the weekend. England is blessed at the moment with 2 players in the team who are among the best I've seen, plus a couple more who should be there. When Jofra Archer started in the England team, I wasn't so sure. He was very stiff in his first game and through the World Cup and I didn't see what the fuss was about. But he's broken out of that into something that is a true challenge to face and if he stays fit, he will break all sorts of wicket records. Ben Stokes is the other one. People say he's the best all rounder we've had since Ian Botham. I think he's much better. (And then there's Joe Root and Jos Buttler who need to sort themselves out)

Also spaceships ...

The Black Sheep was on the prowl, running missions, blowing up pirates that she could take on and running very quickly away from the pirates that were a bit too big. She's a very fast ship for Elite, one of the quicker ones. Here she is picking up salvage from one pirate who tried to bite off more than they could chew.

There's the Black Sheep looking sleek against the stars while coming into land at Newholm Station. They tend to shoot at you if you try to enter the stations without asking permission ....

One of the stations I've been frequenting has a curious pair of co-orbiting moons outside. I called this shot "Moon and Moon" and there's a wonderful Bat For Lashes song of that name. (Youtube link and there's a little bit of intro before that)

It wasn't all space stations though, a few of the missions involved heading into a planetary moon base with some curious canyons again there.

It was an odd couple of sessions on Sunday and Monday. The aim for me in game at the moment is mainly to get Federation ranking up high enough to unlock another end game ship with a secondary objective of collecting more engineering materials to make that ship better. It's a bit of a grind to be honest, with lots of going from one place to another running cargo and data. It has made for some nice screenshots though.

Last one for today. This is a closer look at that planetary base and it sparked the engineer's curiosity. This is an airless moon, so you'd be suiting up to go outside. The ring of objects on the outside are landing pads. So ships land, pilots and crew come off for shore leave, cargo goes in and out. I can see where the cargo goes in, at the doors at the base with roadways outside.

What I can't see is how the people come and go. Does the base operate a taxi service ? I can't see walkways going from outer landing pads to the central area where I'm assuming the fun is. Perhaps there's a mass transit or tramway or train thing underground. Maybe. Underground would be a good way to do it.

I'm probably overthinking it. When Elite Dangerous was first released, this kind of base wasn't available. It's great to see things like this being added to the game, with more development occurring. The planetary bases and starbases may be made up of what I think is a toolkit of graphics modules to glue together but they look great and that toolkit gives lovely variation when you're meandering through the game to different places, different star systems, different planets, different bases.

Good night, fly safe.

Resting, Internet Spaceships, Fancy Pooters, Annoyances

Hello everyone.

Week off for me this week. I'll go on so long and then need to get away from Stuff for a little while. That'll be people, work, having to get up in the morning, various stuff like that.

Oh and it's also a chance to listen to a lot of music, get stuff in that I wanted to have delivered, lots of general chill out. Maybe a few trips out and about, may that be in the virtual world or in the real world.

I haven't actually listened to all of the music on the laptop yet and that's approaching a year. I haven't bought much music over the last year, only about 500 tracks. There are 1850 tracks to go to listen to everything and I'm at tracks in the S albums. After listening to tracks individually, I'll queue up the albums and I'm in the O albums there. It's a reasonably systematic way of jumbling up what gets listened to. The next album up in the queue is Once I Was An Eagle by Laura Marling.

One reason for these occasional weeks off is to rest, recover and let some of the painful bits fix themselves up a bit. I'm having to be careful with certain games at the moment, because my wrist is threatening to go very painful ... First person games where you have to do fine aiming with the mouse seem to be the worst and I haven't played many of those for quite some time. WoW was bad for it too because that fine aiming would see me looking to press certain buttons on screen.

Oh - tracks from one album have been coming through at the moment, that's Scarlet and Other Stories by All About Eve and there are some great tracks in it, like Only One Reason.

Internet Spaceships may dominate, if that's Elite, Stellaris or something different when the PC upgrade arrives .....

That's the latest from EDSM star map and I'm now through the centre of the galaxy and heading way off to the left towards the farthest points you can navigate to from Earth. That got named as Beagle Point in game and is the next destination. I can now plot a route to it as well, with the route plotter being limited to just 20,000 light years. That was a great upgrade from the somewhat unreliable 1,000 light year limit it had when I first started playing.

I got me a new paint job ... A few Dragon Green stripes in there.

And that's Sagittarius A* at the centre of our galaxy from at least a light minute out. (Earth is just over 8 light minutes away from our Sun and Mercury is 3.5 light minutes out). The ring inside the black hole is actually light deflected from the Milky Way ribbon to the top right.

Astronomy is fascinating. And scary when it comes to super massive black holes that just happen to be the engine that makes our galaxy happen.

I'll hopefully get back to collecting some great screenshots soon (although there are more that haven't been posted yet). But I would like to go back to some of the games that I set on one side for a bit. Like Deus Ex Mankind Divided and Prey which were going beyond the capabilities of my computer as it was at the time.

New bits are on their way ... What'll be in the box ?
AMD Ryzen 5 3600. Latest modest processor from these guys and it's apparently better than Intel if you feed it with good memory.
X570 motherboard. Gotta have something to link it all together.
500GB M2 drive from Crucial. This'll be my 4th SSD from Crucial and they've done well so far. This upgrade was a bit too tempting.
32GB of DDR4-3200. This will be another 4x upgrade from the 8GB I have here. More memory always helps because the unused memory gets used to help the disc caching out.
New box ... and power supply. Because it's awkward to take a motherboard out when it's in.

I'll be transferring over a 1060 graphics card and my various hard discs. Oh and a bluray drive that may need to be replaced because I think it finally failed. I had to abandon watching Rogue One tonight because it was breaking up too much and I think it's actually been failing for a long time now because it was corrupting the imports of audio cds.

Oh and I'm happy with monitor, keyboard, mouse and speakers so those will transfer over too.

One thing that's annoyed me though is the attitude of my credit card company ... I ended up using my debit card to buy the bits too because they (Barclaycard - beware of them) flagged the transaction as potential fraud despite the order being placed at the same IP address as I use to do all the paying off of that card.

They did the same thing last year with the laptop.

Highly annoying. Oh and they did an automatic phone call thing at 10.00 this morning to clear the issue. 10.00 on a Sunday ? WHAT IS THIS HERESY.

Back to reality and better things.

I don't think the bits will arrive tomorrow because I ordered after they all went home on Saturday. May well find myself over in Cardiff again for munchies. And a wander. A wander that may well take me past :

Lego Shop
Music Shop
Sweet Shop
Market Book Stall
Cardiff Castle
(And I need to do a general shopping too)

Hopefully my back feels better this morning to allow me to do that. It was very stiff this morning. Perhaps because I left the window open last night on a cooler night than it has been. Oh and that 10.00am crawl and flop down the stairs for that call from the credit card people.

We shall see !

I think I broke something

I don't bounce much any more.

I used to .... Hell, I'm pretty sure I've broken fingers, a leg and dislocated shoulders and still kept on playing.

Tonight it's a couple of things but it's mainly from going crunch on the bus just before the stop. I must have hit my shoulder just in the wrong spot. It happened when coming down the steps ... and the bus hopping over the speed bumps in the road or braking to a halt. I hit the shoulderblade of my weak right shoulder on the hard bit of what was behind me, immediately went OUCH. It was definitely a CRUNCH moment.

And then more ouch after getting myself off the bus. Getting walking again helped, I did the Tesco run (no Harvester sundae tonight - more in a bit) but I can feel the after effects of the bump.

I definitely don't bounce any more ! The problem is that you react to the bump instinctively, which can then upset more parts of you. So as well as a numb arm (it's not too bad but I think I'm in for a rough Friday, I also have the sore neck ....

This is going to sound a lot like me feeling sorry for myself, which I do apologise for. You don't want to hear the sad. You want to hear the bouncy hyper sleepy.

But yeah. At the moment, it's a poorly shoulder, a really unhappy neck that had me ouching yesterday morning anyway (one of the ladies in the meeting I was in starting waving manically in my direction - I thought to me ! But it was to someone outside and when I turned my head to look ... bang - ouch .... poorly neck tells me off again). And the hip that is steadily getting more and more destroyed.

Yep. Am old and feeling that today.

But it's not all bad though. I have people looking out for me, who both cheer me up and tolerate me being mad and bouncy around them. It is nice having people like the Canteen Ladies have my lunch ready for me to pick up. I don't ask for that ! Although it is a sign perhaps that I am far too predictable (Turkey in a Baguette). Work gets stressful (because we push ourselves hard there) but I like to think that the smiles and grins I give and receive there help us clobber our way through.

It definitely helps me keep on going through.

And then there are the people outside work as well who are .... amazing. You know who you are !

No Harvester ? No sundae ?

I have to admit, it's been a long time since I have raided that Harvester. Which is a shame because munchies there tend to give me a pick me up. As well as the physical stuff though, I'm working through after effects of me eating something or somethings that my body hasn't appreciated. (Am ok, just not feeling right down there) So I thought I should spare my tummy the effort of coping with a lactose laden sundae. Nope, that wouldn't be smart right now ! Maybe next week for the sundaes.

Yep. Not feeling my best at the moment, which is one reason why I'm not doing the travelling thing this weekend. (Part of it is also bank holiday traffic and not wanting to murder my ankles again).

It's not all bad though.

The week off work did me a lot of good. I've been getting the signs of hyperactivity again, I'm more focused than before the break (I am seeing silly errors that I did before which are being fixed now). My ankles and feet are much better ! Yeah, I'm scared about setting that healing backwards but that's just a symptom of how the condition has imprinted itself on my brain.

If you've been sick for a while, you'll know what I mean. If you have doubts coming in from mental issues, any mental issues, you'll know how those doubts can cripple you. In my case, I know that the various cricket ball vs head injuries have changed me. My memory is damaged from them, I think* I'm different, I'm slower.

*The scary thing is not being able to quantify the damage. To not know what the difference is between before and after. To have your sense of Self impinged upon.

In my case, I know it's from the cricket ball incidents. People who suffer from depression are not so lucky. It can be coldly considered as a chemical imbalance in the brain, which manifests in crippling doubt and an inability to see self worth. I'm lucky that I don't have that but I think I understand people who do. They don't want to be sad or unhappy, they just are due to their bodies and minds working against them.

Give them your understanding, your love and support. Give them recognition when they reach out for support. It's so difficult to come out and say when you're struggling. I try and distract people with silliness or humour when I think they need it.

And definitely the daft cat memes.

Yep. I have the hurts at the moment but I also have a quiet weekend (plus a little Guardians of Galaxy 2 tomorrow) to recover from it.

I sense the weekend will have lots of sleeps, a healthy dose of chill out, some remedy of chatter and a prescription of fun. Plus a teacake tomorrow morning at work.

Not quite sure if the XCom 2 campaign (or the Darkest Dungeon run I may start) counts as Fun (more like .... terror) but I definitely enjoyed my first play through of XCom 2 and I have bought the expansions since then.

I hope you all have great weekends whatever you are up to !

PS I haz tobbleronnie, easter egg, popcorn, lemon sherbets, lemon sherbet popcorn, MINI EGGS !!!
I'll be ok.

Feels like I been hit by a truck !

Crikey.

Holiday time is supposed to be when you rest, recover and recuperate. But this one seems to be having the opposite effect ! I can't really remember too much of what I was doing yesterday. Perhaps it's an ill ? Maybe. I think it's actually the effects of me attacking myself a bit too much lately.

I don't get that. I don't think I've had anything of what was causing me to have bad reactions. Perhaps it's actually something related to work. As in, the teacake and lunch may have been giving me the Stuff I needed to keep going.

The attacking of self is a major factor though. I really do have to figure out how I can stop that because I won't get properly better until I can leave my outsides alone enough to allow them to fix. It's actually my insides as well, although that can be chalked up to dehydration. I think I'm drinking enough (lots of water) but what I do drink is probably getting soaked up by repairs to my outsides, leaving not enough to keep the muscles happy.

I'm cold as well ! Unfeasably cold ! I suspect my metabolism has slowed due to not doing very much. Sometimes it does feel as if I should be wrapped up and trapped in a blanket like Kitty up top, until I heal.

I am healing though, the various damage I have will typically heal in 3 days or so, if allowed. I just keep redamaging it. It's really frustrating to know that you might be that close to healing for good, except for your own efforts.

Enough about me though. What have I been up to this week ?

I did tell someone I was going to see the doctors again. That didn't happen. Grr. Yesterday was a cloudy blur (plus I was waiting on a delivery that didn't arrive until 4.30 ish - pictures of what that was when I put them together). Tuesday was also waiting for a delivery (more later!). Wednesday was lazy and today, I was too late. Appointments go very quickly at my local docs and you can only get them on the day. Monday was a chill out day part recovering from the long Comic Con day (so worth it) and part getting my old TV cleared off ready for :

Tivo arrived on Tuesday.

I have never met a piece of electronics that is so keen to do its job. It's a cable TV box with a bunch of tuners so it can record multiple things and some intelligence built in to let it suggest recordings. The suggestions are a curious feature but may well get disabled due to annoyance.

One feature I like is that I can control it from my iPad via home networking (I have had to recommission my Powerline bits n bobs to make this happen). You know how clunky a TV remote interface can be ? Perhaps still clunky but a touchscreen can make it a bit smoother to do stuff. It's definitely easier to delete all of the suggestions.

I watch my stuff in order. I won't dip in randomly midway through a series, I'll watch the story unfold over the course of a programme's entire run. I'll series link stuff that I want to watch.

What I don't expect is for the suggestion to override what I'm watching. I don't think the Tivo box likes the cricket as it has tried to change the channel away from it a few times. It needs more training and possibly that Suggestions feature being disabled.

Wednesday also saw me heading into Planetbase again to get the rush colony achievement. I have plans now for how to win at that game, the certain order of what to build in order to get things going quickly and keep them going quickly.

That's curious, the Steam overlay thingy for the achievement isn't on the screenie. The conditions needed were 100 colonists inside 30 days and ...

250 colonists in 60 days for the other rush colony achievement. Sorted ! I only have the achievements from the Storm planet (lightning, limited solar, limited wind, limited build area) to come and then all done until they add some new challenge features.

I also found time to fly the Internet Spaceships again in Elite. It's just had a patch which has changed a few things. One of those is the charity donation mission things to buy navy rank to let you have bigger and better faction only ships. They've changed all that, instead of it being 10k ish cr to buy about 1% guaranteed, it's more like 250k to 1m credits. I'm being more economical there and only contributing when it's value for money. (Context - typical profit per tonne is 500cr but I have been seeing 3000-4000cr per tonne occasionally).

They've also expanded the equipment and customisation considerably ... Which has caused much angst. Beta testing is supposed to catch problems before they occur but I've been seeing videos of one shot kills on pretty potent, tough ships. There is also talk of the Plasma Cannon (big ball of slow moving, slowly reloading fire) working like a heavily overpowered machine gun.

Things have gone imbalanced, to the point where I'm just running from fights at the moment instead of sticking around. It doesn't help there that my second Cutter (yep!) doesn't have its full armament yet or full defenses yet. Need more in game cash. It doesn't help that the ships that have been after me have been the big Anacondas.

Big Elite Ships :

Federal Corvette - best ship for combat. Not so good for anything else.
Imperial Cutter - best ship for trading, should have some combat potential. Fast enough to easily outrun pirates.
Anaconda - best allrounder, pretty good for combat, trading and exploration.
Type 9 Space Turd Freighter - best ship for trading that you can acquire without doing the grind to get the Cutter.

I said "second" didn't I ... IMV Min Max died to a smaller ship as I tried to go toe to toe with a pirate. Usually I can run away before the critical point but ... oh well. Not this time. Oops ! Enter Cookie Morning :

Yep. I went for the black pain job as mourning for the first Cutter. I did have a happy surprise though today when the 12m cost for the insurance was reimbursed due to the craziness of the non player character ships.

Only 376m away from properly fitting it out. Could take a while. But I have been enjoying the game and it is a fairly relaxed playstyle which suits my current level of energy.

Shinies ?

There's a preview. These are supposed to be really tough to build so I didn't really want to start while I'm having lots of pain. Perhaps the Nanoblock R2D2 first :-).

World Psoriasis Day

This post is about a particularly nasty condition ...

Now be warned, I may dip into descriptions that you may not want to read if queasy, sensitive, squeamish or just eaten.

Ok. I probably won't be that bad but I've been pretty moderate with the descriptions of what I've been living with.

What is Psoriasis ? (wiki link)

It's not fully understood but the usual sign is that the body's repair system starts to go nuts. Lesions appear on the skin, itchy lesions. These then accumulate extra skin cells courtesy of that damaged body repair system. These are unsightly and itchy. Sometimes they get worse on their own, often (like me) they'll get worse courtesy of the victim wanting to get rid of the surplus dead skin.

That's the core of my particular problem. I think I'd have been repaired by now, if not for that compulsion to attack the bad bits. I attack them so much, they bleed. I literally can't help myself when I start, it's a blemish, I have to get rid of it. And when that happens, the bad bits expand.

You might be thinking - how do I get this ?

The cause is not known. It can afflict anyone, from any age. Personally, I believe mine was caused by allergies to lettuce amongst other things. I'm countering that with 2x 8 hour Benedryl (Acrivastine) per day which serves as anti-allergy and anti-inflammatory.

It is not a contagious disease. You cannot catch it from someone afflicted with the condition. Proof ? I have some amazing friends with the condition who have lived with partners, wives and children for many years after the condition becoming apparent, their partners have not contracted the condition.

Fear not - it is not contagious. REMEMBER that too, because a subconscious belief that you may catch it from contact etc does very bad things to the psyche of a Psoriasis sufferer and makes a bad condition even worse when that rejection is added in.

The treatment can sometimes be worse than the problem itself, because to mend the body's repair system also means suppressing it with drugs like Methotrexate. That suppressed immune system makes it much easier to catch bugs that most of us would shake off, or secondary infections that our bodies would normally laugh at.

I'm lucky, my body appears to be recovering on its own when I allow it to. When I'm not attacking the bad bits. I actually feel a bit of a fraud around my PA suffering friends because I don't think my condition is actually true Psoriasis.

My repaired skin is actually pretty good. People have given the usual recommendations of "try some E45" and "use moisturiser". Yep. Did that. My shoulders turned to bark. I was Groot ! Sadly without the raccoon or the adoring hordes. But yeah, my body is doing it's usual thing of responding opposite to what it should :
Moisturiser - dries it out
No moisturer - soft, smooth skin


I'm also lucky because :

So - it's just a skin disease right ?

Nope. Psoriasis can develop into Psoriatic Arthritis (PA), which is a truly evil condition. Psoriasis attacks the outside, the same condition can attack the insides. It'll brutalise the joints causing severe, chronic pain.

Personally, I'm suffering from :
Continual cramping in my fingers which makes it difficult to write.
The damage around my right hip.
A really sore and stiff neck.
An uncooperative upper back.

If I thought I had PA, then I'd attribute the neck damage and the finger damage to it. Possibly the back as well. The hip is an artifact from when I was treating the infections that took a while to get rid of (too much sitting on the floor). The fingers are from continuing fluid imbalance, which I think is a sideways symptom/artifact of my body repairing itself. As in, the body is using fluid to repair damage first and keep muscles in balance second. I think the back problems are more from disuse though.

I have a number of friends who's lives are crippled by the effects of PA. The continuing pain on a daily basis is almost unbearable. Yeah, I scream out occasionally when my hip tells me it didn't like what I just did and flick my fingers when the cramp hits them but that's occasional acute pain. I can deal with that. It's not something I have to take pain medication for.

Yep.

I'm very lucky. The condition has only lightly touched me on the shoulder, yet it's put my life on hold for over 3 years now. I think I'm nearly out of it, the massive swelling on my feet, ankles and knees has gone and they're back to bony again. (Means my knees are complaining that they don't have the support jacket they demand !)

I expect I'll be repaired again by next cricket season. In theory, I could play again. My joints etc would support that. I won't though because at (a certain classified age!) my reactions are pretty well shot and I'm not the effective player I used to be. Sad but true.

But there are so many others who are not lucky. Psoriasis and PA have wrecked their lives.

Give them your understanding please, not rejection. Help them, support them.

Moving on and making plans

I wasn't sure a week ago but it looks like I may finally be seeing the back of this skin condition.

That's been a long time coming !

I don't think I'll ever be totally free of it but it'll be good to be over the worst of it. Quick summary time ?

It started a few years ago as a leg infection. I think I got bit while on holiday and it was literally eating away my calf. It took some persuading for me to go to the doctors and even then, the infection wasn't wholly cleared out until a few visits later. Between those visits, I decided to do something about my diet and introduce some Green Stuff.

Bad move.

Critically bad move. Turns out I was allergic to the orange juice I added to the diet. That critically affected my breathing to the point where I should have gone to the doctors because I could barely breathe, even when lying down to sleep. I also added lettuce to my sandwiches, which lasted six months before I figured I was allergic to that too. But not before the infection was spread from my calf to a significant amount of me.

Hence me referring to multiple Zombie patches.

However - I'm seeing the bad bits clear up a little bit each day now. I'll be staying on the Benadryl and will be keeping on those pasta bake things too. Partly cos I like them but mostly because that diet change has helped me out a lot in general. I won't be all clear by Comic Con but I'll be much closer.

Which means - time to get on with sorting a few things out and making a few changes which have been on hold for way too long. This has literally been years where my prime focus has been on getting better and it's led to a few things being neglected.

First up - Comic Con - plans and thoughts are coming together on this one. I'll be there on the Friday and I very much hope that I'll have at least one someone with me. One thing I've learned over my far too many years is that you can never neglect what you eat on long days out like this. It's critical or you flake out halfway through and don't appreciate it all.

If that special little lady I keep talking about does accept the offer, I know where lunch will be - apparently there is a Noodle Shop there. If she spots that, I may have to entice her out of there with something special (I'm betting there are Groot models, that may do it). And there's plenty of proper eating places around the venue too. That was my big fear, I consider it dangerous to drive on an empty stomach after a long day. If you fade out while driving, you're in a 70mph missile. So me offering to buy dinner is not just a friendly gesture !

Still not sure about whether I'd take the car all the way in or use the Underground to avoid negotiating the traffic.

A near future priority is sorting out my boiler. It's still making very nasty noises and isn't effectively heating the house. Definitely a near term priority. Crossing fingers that it doesn't cost too much. It can heat the water so I can have showers but the hot water isn't reaching the radiators.

There's more than a few other tidying up jobs I have to do around the house as well. It's not in a shape that I'd want visitors to see it in. Definitely not in the shape I'd need it to be for selling up and moving on to the Sleeping Dragon narrowboat.

New job - I need more cash (I'm ok - just would like to build savings quicker). Plus it's about time I changed where I work. I've been there way too many years. That's another effect of the illness, it put me down to maybe 50% of my capability (still better than a few people I see) and I was concentrating on the day job, instead of looking wider. Actually, that's far better than some I've seen too, where they're concentrating 95% on their MSc and screwing up the day job in the remaining 5%.

Before anyone thinks that's them, it's someone who left the organisation many years ago and they're not someone I've mentioned here.

But yeah - new job, new things to do. Just one problem, limited choice of interesting places to work in the organisation. That's a topic not for here because my reasons are FAR too sensitive to put here ! Let's just say I work with very exotic toys that you sometimes hear about in the news.

Finding someone to share it all with - this has been something I've wanted for a very long time. I keep thinking I've found someone special but outside of 2 ill fated long term relationships, I've not found that right person. Yet. Or at least I don't think I have.

I still have my hopes for one special little lady. I watch the videos and listening to what she says triggers all sorts of responses (of the conversational kind ...). Or she comes out with something that makes me laugh loud enough that the neighbours can hear it (over the noisy boiler and the stereo)

No - I haven't given up there. I rarely do give up on people. Leave 'em alone if it looks like they don't want to know me but give up ? Never. Never Give Up, Never Surrender. Name that film ! (Ok, I got reminded about Galaxy Quest through a twitter convo last night and added it to the list of films I seriously need to watch again)

There have been a few interesting looking ones on Okcupid but I rarely get replies to messages. Ok, I got one who declared "I'm looking for a serious man for a serious relationship". Yep, that's what I think I am and it's what I'm looking for but ... it has to be as equals and this seemed like anything but. The lady I grow old with has to be someone I respect and I wouldn't be respecting someone with the minimal and poorly worded mis spelled (beyond your yours your's) info on her profile.

I'm rambling again aren't I ? Stuff from tonight :

Illness - getting better. About damn time.
General condition - losing weight :-), rest of it - could do with work.
Comic Con - really looking forward to it. On my own - fun. If Steamgirl comes - it'll be good to meet up again and get swept along by her. With the special little someone - AWESOME
Job - I have a cool job with great people but I need something new and technical again. The current job is dominated by process - yawn.
Soulmate - hopeful always but still on my own. I miss regular hugs. I miss the chats. I miss the bickering if you can believe that. But most - I miss doing things for other people. The little things that they appreciate way more than their apparent significance.

I think that's me about rambled out. I'll close with a bit more on that general condition thing - as my outsides improve, it's highlighting where my insides are struggling. The swellings have gone, which in places where protecting bad bits like my knees. That's ok, I just remember to walk in a way that doesn't stress the knees. I think I may need a new hip in my 5th decade. Legs that used to be good for push starting cars are lacking their power. I've leant on and abused natural fitness for a very long time now and need to supplementing that with some conditioning work now.

I think that conditioning work would help out everything else to be honest. I suspect most of my inside aches and pains are down to bits not being used very much. There's been a few times where I've been doubtful for cricket due to a stiff back and ... once I got on the field and did the warm ups, the stiffness in the back went away and I was back to zooming around at Warp Speed.

A little running around can be very good for you.

Especially as I can dodge again now.

Hmm - is that a good thing considering that it tends to be Pretty Ladies at work that I tend to be dodging most ? (lots of blind corners - honest guv)

Calling Time

I had hoped that I'd have recovered sufficiently to at least make myself available for at least one game of cricket this summer. Alas though, I'm still pretty shredded.

Most of it is self inflicted wounds. Most of the cuts and slices repair themselves to invisibility properly, within 3 days. It's just the persistent bits that cause a problem, because those are the ones I redamage when my guard's down.

But, even with the skin problem, it was getting near the time when I'm just simply too old to justify being on a cricket field as a player. There's 3 disciplines in cricket :

Batting, bowling and fielding.

I turned into being pretty decent at all 3 and (when intact!) could have commanded a place in the sides as either batter or bowler. I've batted everywhere in the order, having the technique to survive as an opening batsman against the best bowlers. My bowling was very dangerous and I've won more than a few games for my sides by taking wickets at crucial times. My fielding was ... interesting ... sometimes good, sometimes horrible but I'd put all the effort in that I had available.

Curiously, the form never came at the same time. I'd either have a good batting year or a good bowling year. Much of that was to do with injuries, the year after my introductory season was blighted by groin strains and a back problem that put a major dampener on my ability to bowl.

Anyway - one reason for calling time is that my ability to perform the roles is no longer what I would expect it to be. And if I'm not performing highly for the team, then I don't consider myself worthy of a spot in the team ahead of other people who are keen to play. It actually goes further than that, cricket was becoming seriously hard work in terms of being able to run around on the field. The first two games last year were played in cold, dreary conditions where I just literally froze. As in, not able to go Warp Speed because the muscles had turned to concrete.

Batting - I've never been a big hitter but in the later years, I felt I was costing the team wins by batting too slowly. Perhaps that's a sign that my glasses were affecting batting more than I thought but it was mostly strength lacking in arms that were a fraction behind getting the bat where it needed to be to spank the ball around.

Bowling - it literally became dangerous for me to bowl. The damage to my shoulder means I have no control over the length it comes out at. Combine that with an action that naturally curves the ball into the batsman and you get something potentially lethal. It's a head high ball that's following them as they try and duck out of the way.

Yet there's still the feeling on the field when you see bowlers who are truly pathetic (we've had some who claimed they can bowl, they were trusted to ... and then bowled half an over of wides) and you know you could have done better. But that's coming from a strike bowler who was regularly economical and wicket taking. A key bowler if you will.

What did I do to the shoulder ? In the 97 season, there was a pitcher called Alex Fernandez. I'd been watching baseball at uni and the team I followed was the Florida Marlins, who had Alex Fernandez in the team. However, he missed the playoffs due to a torn rotator cuff which meant 18 months out of the game. (It's the muscle group that holds the shoulder together). He retired 4 years later aged 31. I heard of this after injuring my shoulder playing badminton. I'd gone for a jump-smash, missed it and tried to switch my shot to an underarm flick. My shoulder got levered out of the socket somewhere in between the two shots.

Cue a couple of months of not being able to pick anything up with my right arm because it felt like the arm was being pulled out of the socket. When I heard the diagnosis of "torn rotator cuff", I didn't think much of it. Didn't sound impressive. You can bet I went "Oh crap" when I saw the Alex Fernandez story ... As things worked out, I had that 18 months off bowling because I didn't play much cricket at uni and it was patchy after I started work. I do however have a pic from when I helped a work side gain a knockout trophy. I got wickets in that game :-).

But - all good things ... While I did get a few good years able to bowl again, I reinjured it a few years ago. Could have been a few things. I had 3 years out of the game for personal reasons. I lifted a 28" CRT telly on my own (oops) and I think I reinjured it playing badminton again (in a session at the gym at work).

I do feel it's sad though that the real kicker for calling time on the cricket is the skin condition. Although you could also say that it's forced a decision that's been coming for a long time now. I'll be 40 in a few months .... And that's a lot of years spent abusing natural fitness.

I've never really been one for training. In fact, the times I have trained have actually led to me getting worse. There's one particular series of circuit training where I gained zero aerobic fitness (where I've always been lacking), yet lost all of my extreme speed. That natural fitness has usually seen me get match fit during net practice or I'd catch up quick in the first couple of games of the season.

No - even without the impact that the skin condition is having, there's a few signs of Too Old that make cricket a really daft proposition :

Shoulder - goes without saying. It's not just the bowling, it's the throwing too.
Hips - I've damaged my groin muscles a few too many times. Ouch.
Knees - have always been unhappy that I have massive leg muscles.
Back - another one I bust with the bowling.
Hands - a lifetime of fumbles takes its toll

It got to the point where I had the option to go say hi to the boys, when the two teams I played for had their game this season. But I didn't want to go to the field where I should have been playing. It's as if it would have been too much psychologically to have it hit home that the cricket field is not a place I should be as a player.

As it happens, the Crazie mob was going to be enjoying How To Train Your Dragon 2 at the same time. Cricket mob to watch or movies with the Crazie Mob : No contest.

I'll still keep watching the cricket. It can be a compelling game, where the result is in doubt all the way up to the end. If you're lucky. Sometimes, the result gets obvious quickly and it's just a matter of getting there. The excitement of a Last Over Can Go Either Way game makes up for all those.

I'll make the plans for it too :
Lords for the Interservices T20 games will be an annual pilgrimage.
And I may well put the narrowboat on the Gloucester & Sharpness canal where it's in range of Worcester, so I could nab a fortnight in the summer to cruise to Worcester to watch a few games.

Yes. I'd quite like that. The alternative would be to cruise to London for Lords and the Oval, however moorings in London are supposedly much tougher to get hold of.

I'll leave it there - don't be afraid to call time on something like cricket. If you're not enjoying it and it's doing you damage, then consider backing away from it. I just hope you don't end up with feelings of unfinished business. (I never got a 50!)

How you doin' ?

That's that polite question that you always hear. Facebook has taken it on too, with lots of people giving literal answers to the "How's it going ?" that it puts in the status update entry box.

I say "polite" question because people always expect an answer along the lines of "I'm doing great, thanks, how are you ?". I've been breaking the mould on that lately by giving a standard answer of delaying slightly (to consider the answer!) and saying "improving".

I don't think people have been entirely prepared for that answer. It's a little too honest :-).

Or perhaps their mind is working through "He's improving, I didn't realise there was anything wrong, what did I miss ?" I like that "what did I miss ?" thought as it suggests that I've been able to hide this skin problem since it exploded late last summer.

I am genuinely improving too, although painfully (literally!) slowly and not really helped by me too. The damage is steadily declining, where I don't do the self inflicted wounds thing. Because things are taking a long time to heal, if I disrupt that healing by giving into temptation and scratching the damaged bits it sets back the healing more than you might think. Work can be a bit awkward because moving around more means the healing can be disrupted by what I'm wearing. And I've not said what the most awkward thing is yet ;-)

No need to go back to the doctor's place though just yet. Just more self discipline to erase a life long tendency to attack the bits of me that aren't right yet.

It is genuinely improving though (I can wear a helmet again!) and I think I've identified a few things that were making my skin go wrong :

Work. I might be allergic to work. LOL :-) Nah. It's the buildings, they have a very dry atmosphere which I think is a very minor contributor to what's gone wrong. It's something to live with, I'm not about to insist on any special conditions for it although working from home may be something I have to talk to management about.
White bread - not so sure about this one now, although I've not had the unpleasantness of being unable to breathe since I ditched the white bread.
Stress - always causes problems. But the reasons for that stress are not something I'm going to put here. Although what Ms Warpath suggested earlier today rings very true.

Orange juice/citrus. This is huge. If you're continually getting mouth ulcers without the explanation of "I bit my mouth" then that's a major signal that you're eating/drinking something you shouldn't. What I didn't realise is that a citrus allergy might extend to lemon muffins too :-).

You know what that means ? I will be forced to consume only chocolate muffins.

(I promise to eat other stuff as well which might be vaguely healthy - says he knowing that after I finish this post, the first thing I'll do is fetch an apple from the kitchen)

The last thing I know that's causing me problems is water ... Yep. It appears to be a little boy problem. And you know what little boys hate ? Bathing ! Looks like having a shower is causing two problems - the towel is damaging the skin and the water is leaching out the bits I need for healing. But I know how to get around that (it involves being gentle and using lots of moisturiser).

I know - awkward. But - by understanding why it's bad in one way, you can make an adjustment, do things differently and deal with the inconvenience.

Lesson - there's a way around every problem. You just need to believe that there is an answer there, even if it's not obvious.

Sometimes you need to ask for help, sometimes you need to find a strength from within. Sometimes you need Rubber Mallet assistance to get inspiration. Hopefully not too often though because concussion is a Bad Thing.

I'm hopeful that I'll make the cricket season, although I'm definitely not ready yet. Too much damage and too much time needed for repairs. What is helping is knowing there's good friends out there who are genuinely concerned when they find out when I'm not healthy. I've been lucky to have been involved in an awesome project for longer than I should have. That's one reason why it's been tough to let go, although I know that in the new one there is potential for me to have the autonomy I never had (and could have done with to get things done!) in the old project.

Ok Ok ! That's enough self indulgence for tonight, where's those apples :-)

PS One thing about the people on the project is that if proves true the old saying about when genuine friends meet up for the first time in a while, they'll pick up from old conversations. And that's proved true about 2 very lovely ladies from the old project who I had the chance to have conversations with over the past week after meeting them at random :-)

Eat until asleep, sleep until hungry

Definitely :

Excellent sentiment. Arrived home late after the cricket yesterday, which meant a visit to the Chinese (really quick way to get a big dinner here) had me finishing up dinner at like 10.30pm. Actually, I think I was still eating at 11pm.

Not good if you're already feeling sleepy but know that dinner will take time to settle. I ended up disappearing at I think 2am and was out like a light. And then slept until I ended up starving (actually 9am, much earlier than I thought I'd be emerging)

Pretty sore now today after the game yesterday but :

Currently thinking a bit "yeah right" as a response to that.

I have the usual soreness (legs, back, hip) but I expect that. It's all part of my body setting itself up again for running around. The shoulder is not too bad. Now the adrenaline and endorphins have worn off I can feel the damage. It's usable but a little numb. I must have pushed it forward and maybe a little out when I landed on it. I'm lighter than last year but that's still a little too much weight landing on a weakened shoulder joint.

It's nothing serious - I can still use the arm properly. I wouldn't be able to bowl and it feels a bit loose but apart from that, arm's fine. It's not cold, which is the usual sign that it's not in the right place. But it would appreciate a bit of TLC from some strong fingers. Mind you, it's also been too long since I gave someone else a neck rub or a back rub.

It'll have time to recover - I'm off work for the next week, starting today. Back on Monday 11th. We had a few freebie days off but I've been feeling run down, so I decided to take the chance for a cheap week away from work to chill out and de-stress. Some of the interactions can get a little ... tense. (We push ourselves hard)

Yeah - today was a bit of a write off due to soreness but I'll be up and about more over the next few days. And I know I've earned that soreness due to the amount I throw myself around on the cricket field :-)

Fitness and other issues

Had another trip up to the Mall tonight scouting cos I needed trousers ...

Had other reasons too but trousers were the pressing one. Have to say, it felt great to realise that trousers I retired last year (pre-diet but after the leg infection) now felt baggy. Lots of room there and it was good that I have a decent belt. The belt is 2 (occasionally 3!) notches tighter now too than it was last year. I had to get a new pair though cos my keys were attempting to escape through the pocket. The last pair got retired cos of a "oops - I shouldn't have bent down quite like that ..." incident ...

Other Mall trip scouting :

Fence and fence posts. Need to repair the fence to next door as the old panels were rotten after falling victim to heavy wind. Still need to investigate what's there at the moment and therefore how big a job it will be. Need to repair the fence posts too which to be honest is the most icky part. Hopefully it won't need concrete (saw something at B+Q today that would serve, if there's concrete there already for it to work with)

Couldn't investigate that over the weekend cos there were nasty chemicals but I can check it out tomorrow evening.

Fridge/freezer - mine's getting old now. It needs defrosting again (next weekend when I don't have to keep an eye on workmen) but still works well. Had an initial peek tonight for new ones, so I know a little more about what I'm looking at.

That's how I buy stuff, some would call it procrastination (it is) but I call it gathering knowledge so you know what you're looking at. Then when you buy, you get something perfect instead of merely shiny. Like I now know how big a variety of these there are, so before I go looking seriously, I'll measure the hole.

Same with - washing machine. It works. I think. But I'm not confident that it works 100%. Either that, or I need some serious stain removal stuff to get the grass stains out of my cricket whites :-).

Loo - I could do this on my own. If ... I could acquire something with like-for-like fittings. That means having the same place for the drain (not a problem), the wall fixing (issue), the overflow and the water inlet (both problems). I'd like to do it on my own because that's the way I like to do things. I may have to bite the bullet and get a plumber to replace it (cos of the overflow + inlet) but I have another idea for tackling those pesky wingnuts ...

Wait ... this was supposed to be about fitness wasn't it ? (it was a busy Mall scouting run)

I used to grade myself as A, B or C level fitness for how intact I was, with 1,2,3 etc for how match ready I was.

Grade A would have everything working correctly, with no residual injuries. My knees were the first thing to degrade but didn't knock me out of A too much.
Grade B has something complaining. Like a sore back, a broken finger or something else that means I'm not 100% intact but there's no reason for me not to play. My groin tear puts me at Grade B, because while it's annoying (minor limp again today) I can still run at full speed with it. Same with the spectacular bruising on my right leg.
Grade C means something major is broken. My shoulder would put me at Grade C, as did the leg problem from 2 years ago.

I've accepted now that my shoulder is seriously compromised. I can't bowl with it and I maybe have 1 good throw per game. But that 1 good long distance throw will hurt like hell, so I save it for when it's crucial. However, because I have a role batting and fielding where throwing is short distance, I can still play with it.

Last year's cricket was spoiled by 2 things that dropped me to Grade C - I hurt my back at the start of the year and the leg infection made my skin to weak to risk on the field (it would break when I walked!). While I have the minor groin tear this year, my back is happy as long as I keep using it plus the leg infection is sufficiently healed for cricket.

The numbers said how much of a lazy git I'd been. A1 fitness meant I'd finish 40 overs of cricket as strong as I started, having done a full quota of bowling overs. I'd have a resting heart rate of 56-60. 2 meant I'd be ok but not quite match fit. 3 meant I'd be struggling. At the moment that resting heart rate is about 80.

How am I at the moment ? Honestly - C3, hopefully B2 by Thursday's game. C cos I dunno about the damage to my left shin, plus hayfever is in my lungs. But time should help with those. I'll be ok for Thursday's game by abusing natural fitness and ignoring pain again but I'm nowhere near "match fit".

Oh - I also scouted vacuum cleaners as one reason my lungs are bad is because of an attack of house cleaning. I knocked over a glass of coke with the vacuum, which led to me scrubbing the floor and getting dust in my lungs. It shows how bad the football was on Saturday that it drove me to cleaning. I had done some vacuuming in the afternoon but the vacuum had declared : "It's too darn hot, I'm shutting down for a while". Hence scouting for a new one ... it worked later when it cooled down.

Ramble over - in the style of a Dodger vid, the latest of which I'm about to watch - Cya tomorrow (maybe) :-) MWAH !

Looking young, feeling ... oldish

Been getting some amusement over the past few days ...

I've been getting guesses out of people for how old they think I am. It's usually as a follow on to me saying that I'm too old to be throwing myself around a cricket field.

It's been good for the soul too, as the age guesses have been placing me at around 28-30. ("Or even younger" as one said today). That's really good to hear, as about 6 months ago that age guess range was 32-34. It gives a bit of truth to the saying that losing weight can take years off your age, as over that 6 month period, I've lost a stone. I haven't broken through the 13 stone barrier yet (that won't happen until after the cricket season) but I'm stable there.

Good times.

It must be something in my genes. As it has absolutely nothing to do with me :

Looking after myself properly (outside of snacking less)
Lack of stress (work pushes me and I push myself harder)
Funny chemicals and other "beauty" products
Getting exercise for keep fit stuff (that just seems to wear people out)

I do avoid a lot of the common poisons like drink (prefer taste of cola), nicotine (smoking is a really nasty habit all round) and drugs (of all kinds). I've never smoked because I figured early on that it would wreck lungs that are already not great. I avoid alcohol now, except for special occasions, because my IBS is controllable except when I drink. And I very rarely take drugs of any kind, be it medicinal or recreational.

So I don't really have any magic formula for looking young, except - Keep a positive attitude, avoid the vices.

I don't feel that young though. I definitely feel my 37 years and then some, with most of my damage being on the inside. Even with the bruising from last week, the spectacular bruise is the one that's least of a problem. That said though, after yesterday putting myself to "reserve only" (i.e. let someone else have a game) for this week's cricket, I'm feeling improved today.

Wonder how much of that is down to having the chance to grin at four!* lovely ladies at our contractor's office today ? It's not all about the grinning though, we had the chance to talk through and sort out some issues.

*(two because three became four as I remembered a couple more that I've known from Way Back on this project. Erm - make it 5 cos of Doreen on the front desk too)

Oh - I have a youtube channel now. I have to admit, I only made it so I could comment on a youtube video. But ... you never know. I've been enjoying the Dodger Coffeh Time vlogs a lot over the past couple of weeks. They feel like what this blog would be like if I did it with video. It's become essential viewing, at the end of every Coffeh Time vlog, Dodger will wish us a wonderful day. And you know what ? The day feels so much brighter for that.

So - dunno if I'll post any webcammy type videos to that youtube channel (if I do, I'll add a link to the list). It won't be gameplay video as I tend to fade in and out of games. Could be an occasional vlog as that would let me show what I mean with some of the cricket stuff. But something I would inflict people with - karaoke !

Now there's a threat that'll make people run away screaming. MUAHAHA.

2nd game - we won !

Excellent start to the season so far.

Second game was tonight and despite a shaky start, our bowlers came through by taking wickets at steady intervals which keeps the scoring rate down nicely.

My fielding was again : average but enthusiastic. A little too enthusiastic as I'm rushing the fielding and snatching at the ball. That ends up in :

Me getting hurt (yep - I'm broken again)
Missing good chances to get wickets (by fumbling the ball when I should be throwing in)

What I should be able to do is swoop in, pick up the ball one handed and get the release away. Doesn't have to be a hard throw (cos I can't do that no more) but accuracy and fast release save a lot of time and get you wickets. Still, I saved a few runs by looking as if I knew what I was doing plus I have grass stains where some people don't have places. (I'm lighter and have Speed again but I'm still tubby)

How did I get hurt ?

I don't count superficial stuff there, outside bruises being great to show off. The leg/knee shiner from yesterday doesn't really count, as I still had full running power available. I got hit on the shin again. 2 years ago, that was Very Bad News as I suspect I had it caused a crack in my shin bone. It was a similar hit again tonight, a solid shot going through my hands and on to the shin bone.

I was able to continue fielding and did a short amount of batting later but I'm worried by it again. 2 years ago it blighted most of that season as I just couldn't put any power through my left leg. (Run, walk but not sprint) We'll see how it goes. Yesterday's bruise came up quickly, tonight's hasn't developed yet.

Batting was ... different.

Yesterday's problem was that I was thinking too much. I had thoughts rushing around my head as the bowler came in for what I was going to do with the ball. That doesn't help. Instead of playing an appropriate shot, I was picking a shot before the bowler let the ball go. Bad news.

Tonight, I managed to follow one plan - "Empty my head, think of nothing". Which worked. Everything was working much better for the short time I was out there. But ... main plan was - "nudge singles, play yourself in". Our star batsman was in at the other end whacking boundaries, so the nudge singles plan would have been awesome for the team and had me at Position A for watching the fun.

What happened ? The bowling was so juicy that instead of nudging singles, I was going to whack every ball (and connecting) but popped one up fairly early for a decent catch. Waste of an opportunity.

But my own performance isn't really that important (although I would like to be the star player like how it used to be when I bowled). What matters is the team scoreline and it's : 2 games played, 2 games won.

I'm quite stiff and sore now, I'll be in work tomorrow but I'm looking forward to some chill out over the weekend watching England in the test match. Cross fingers for no rain.

Oops - done it again

Before you read any of what'll be below - I'm ok, albeit a little shaken (although I'd never admit that. Hmm ... doh!). Haven't seen the need to rush off to hospital, although it is still in my mind. I'm actually more worried about my leg.

Net practice again tonight, which meant me attempting to continue that crash course in wicket keeping ...

There's not really enough space in nets to stand back as you should do with quicker bowlers, so I'm usually right behind the stumps where you need practice, practice, more practice, agility, quick reactions and a little stupidity. I have a couple of those right now (the stupidity and the reactions) but I'm badly in need of the practice. The agility is so-so, loss of weight has helped but I've hurt my left leg.

The stupidity is still in control though, so I started off the practice without wearing a helmet.

That's a really bad idea. Top edges do nasty things, plus bales (the little bits of wood on top of cricket stumps) tend to fly straight up when people are bowled. So you should wear head protection when standing up to the stumps.

What actually happened ?

Ball's coming down behind the batsman (where you're unsighted as a keeper anyway) and he takes a swing. He gets a top edge, so instead of the ball coming near my gloves it goes straight up. And on to my top lip.

Oops

The damage wasn't actually too much, one fella didn't even realise I got hit (think he was the batsman). I cleaned myself up and got rid of most of the blood and then did what you should ALWAYS do in situations like this : Get back on the horse as soon as possible.

So after returning from getting cleaned up, on comes the helmet, gloves go on the hands and I'm back behind the stumps trying to learn wicket keeping. Looks like they're relying on me to do that job this year, which is scary.

My keeping still needs a lot of work, although it'll hopefully be easier standing the right distance back. I was getting a lot of confidence late on though from getting lots of clean takes and good stumpings.

So yeah - lesson learned. When standing up to the stumps, wear a helmet as it protects you when Strange Things happen. I'll look into buying other stuff too, like a face mask type grill so I can still see better. A face mask will also be lighter and airier.

Practice - went ok. I'm timing the ball pretty well out to the offside and the defences seem ok. My shot play seems more attack minded this year, with me flipping back to defence instantly when the ball demands more respect. Promising for the season.

How am I feeling now ? Shaken and sore.

Shaken - Beneath the "doesn't hurt at all" show, I was actually a little shaken. Fingers were wobbly for a while.
Sore - my left leg has decided to stiffen up. The problem is in the hamstring at the back of the leg right near the top. It's a bit sore. It isn't torn as the leg still works ok.

Lip's gonna look great at work tomorrow :-) But I'm not worried about it. Taken my lumps, learned my lesson, more worried about the duff leg.

PS My challenge at work tomorrow will be to show off the cut lip to as many people as possible ... and come up with a different explanation to all of them. Muahaha :-)

Random stuff

Felt like there's a blog post bursting to come out but what to write ... what to write ...

Found a new artist to get hooked on, courtesy of Craziequeen. Just listen to "I Do Adore" and try not to sing along. You will fail. I've had the chorus bouncing around in my head all day, which kinda balanced a horror day otherwise. Someone ... decided to implement a change which forced every user on the system to download their full inbox. The network actually survived. But almost no-one had their inbox available and doing things with stuff outside email was incredibly slow due to all the inbox downloading traffic.

I suspect that whoever decided to implement that unnecessary change is currently being skinned by the boss. And there's a baying mob with pitchforks gathering.

Diet - this is still going ok.

The average weight is still steadily reducing at a sensible and sustainable rate. I'm getting less issues with cramping up which hopefully means I'm getting that mineral balance better. I have problems when I've not had enough salt (like everyone) but I also have issues with too much salt.

At school age, after getting home from a day's cricket I'd typically have :
Coke/Diet Coke in the pub after the game (it's a diuretic)
Dinner with lots of salt

And I'd usually be lucky to not get cramp so bad I'd tear a leg muscle. I call it the Salt Bomb now ... Chippie dinners are bad for it as well. The lesson is to make sure that salt intake is balanced, i.e. drink lots of water to replace sweat or to offset the salt. And coke is bad because it does funny things to that salt/water balance.

Anyway. Diet is getting the calorie intake discipline going better, although I'm not exactly being scientific with it. I'm just sticking with "don't eat if not hungry". Can't remember last time I ate a dinner on a Friday night, as bacon sarnie + late lunch baguette means I don't need dinner.

Been stiff & sore lately, enough to go "ow" when people aren't looking ... But I still have full power available in the legs. Actually more than full power, as I'm a stone lighter now compared to when I started the diet. And that lower weight means I can start moving quicker and adjust quicker. Because of the way my legs are set up, it takes time for them to start moving but when they do, I can move extremely quickly. And less weight means less reaction time.

I'm not sylph like (never will be) but I've dodged out of the way when ever someone's come running around the corner.

Hmm. That means I've missed being run into by pretty ladies. (They seem to be the ones rushing around a lot at work)

I may have to rethink that dodging out the way thing.

Oh - diet stuff. I've got to a point where I can play around with what I eat a little more, while keeping within that discipline. So like today, Mini Eggs in the afternoon let me blast through work frustration enough to get stuff done late. But that's balanced by me not having a teacake for breakfast this morning. And the pizza will be balanced by me resisting cookies for as long as possible tonight.

It's not so much looking at packets and adding up calories, it's more keeping to a discipline. Like not knowing how long it is since I had a dessert ... It's been a while.

Still a little sore though. I vaguely remember that getting poked by strong fingers was awesome for relieving stress and tension. With the vaguely showing how long it is since I knew someone willing to do that for me. Last expert I knew was Mad Alyse from uni, who worked wonders with the back injury I picked up at school.

Handyman Hunter

I'm up at my parents place this weekend, it's birthday weekend. My nan turned 90 yesterday and is still able to cause more chaos than a teenager :-) My mum gains another year next week.

Birthday munchies tonight, which will hopefully be good. We tend to hit two pubs pretty regularly when I'm here, one is in the local town, one is on the outskirts of Lincoln. The Sleaford pub is a drinking pub, not really one you'd want to eat in. The one in Lincoln suffers heavily from a lack of consistency, most of the time the food is good but there's usually one dinner sighted that's heading back into the kitchen due to complaints.

I usually mop up the little electronic jobs when I come back, which I don't mind doing. The burglar alarm has had a seeing to this morning, as it has been chirping away trying to tell us something. It can't get the message through properly though as its designers didn't bless it with too much intelligence ... Problem sorted though.

I'm still a little sore from the badminton on Wednesday, which is something earned by me being idle physically for a couple of years ... Not recommended ! May have to take up jogging around the block to keep my legs moving. It's all honest soreness, the only bit I was wary of was my knee which was really upset with me. However, since Friday I've been able to walk without thinking too much of keeping the knee straight so no new permanent damage there.

Ben greeted me last night by dragging his new toy in, he's now curled up in his bed having a little snooze. He tortures himself a bit does our Ben, I had some toast not so long ago but didn't let him have any.

We hunted cars on the way back from the lunchtime pub, I have a few more ideas of what to look for now. The next one will be :
Something Focus sized or smaller (not likely to be a Focus)
Decent engine - I like having a performance option
Cushiness toys
Not an MPV - I don't need something that big

Looking forward to the munchies tonight and to more badminton next week.