Tuesday, February 17, 2015

15 Things About Introverts

I read this today and recognised a lot in it.


It's a list of what people don't understand about us introverts. I'll happily admit to being part of the club, although if I get talking, people have trouble getting me to stop. Same if I go hyperactive too, which is happily happening more and more. I do have a bad side to that talking though, I tend to talk about me too much instead of letting other people talk about themselves. I don't like that and must try to let the other people natter.
Very true.

So - about these introverty things ? The linky above has what they think but I thought I'd give my perspective on it :

1 - Small talk sucks
Not so sure here. Because small talk is a means to feeling connected with people and I do need that connection. I like the feeling of being included in a group but (see crowds) there's a limit. I do find it difficult to get that inspiration to break a silence though. Silence isn't that comfortable for me.

2 - Being alone is fine
This is one of my contrasts. I'm happy being on my own and will do group things like cinema watching on my own. But - I do have that need to be connected. The internet does a lot of that for me, with Facebook (not so good now because of their silly filters) and Twitter. But it does get frustrating when you reach out to people with comments and get nothing in return. Today's been a happy contrast there, with a few Pretty Ladies giving me Favourites or replies.

3 - We aren't rude or uptight
It can just take time to overcome the Threat indicators that tend to light up when unfamiliar people appear. Can I trust them ? Will they take what I say and twist it when they pass it on ? (That's a learned thing - I've been a victim of gossip in the past). It's why we take it pretty hard when we don't get replies when we break down that wall and reach out to people.

4 - Sometimes, we swing both ways
Oo-er. Yep. I'm quiet and can take time to warm up but when I do start talking, it can be difficult to get me to stop. When I played badminton, I'd ignore the high percentage winning shots and go for the most spectacular one that popped into my head. But when I bowled and got wickets, I didn't tend to be overextravagant when celebrating, despite having enough adrenaline going to argue with umpires.

5 - We have friends. And they like us ! Probably.
We're never quite sure where we stand. There's a little lady who keeps sending me messages which send my happiness level into the stratosphere (she thinks I have a lovely surname ...) but our low confidence doesn't let us really Believe that good things happen like that. Same with work, without that constant feedback and pats on the back, our confidence dips to where we don't think we're being effective.

6 - When with the right people, we feel safe
I tell some people some things, I tell other people more. There's a filter that goes on these posts where I don't talk too much about work (I work with Cool Things) and I keep other people's confidences. Not many people know I had a brother.

7 - We like to write things out
Wall Of Text incoming

8 - We're super productive
When I figure things out, I can go into a Robot Mode where I do things very quickly and as efficiently as possible. And at other times, my brain will tunnel vision focus in on stuff and get those fingers tapping.

9 - If we don't like you, you won't know it.
Very true. But I like to think that if I do like someone, they will definitely realise it. Sometimes I can be too subtle though.
10 - Networking events suck
See that small talk thing again about not knowing the right things to say at the right time. Or thinking of wonderful things to say, hours after the opportunity would have occurred.

11 - We don't like crowds
I like being around people. But I also do an automatic assessment of everyone I see and everyone who is around me and that can quite quickly go to assigning "Threat" statuses to everyone. That's bad I know but there's a certain point where I have to be elsewhere when people start crowding in on me.

12 - Sorry, we probably weren't listening to your story
Ok - that's what they say. I'm usually listening and I'll file it away somewhere for later, although my memory damage is interfering with that these days. But there's also a chance that my brain has diverted itself into planning some grand scheme, it's taking something mechanical apart, it's checking out the architecture, it's identifying the music (all this at the same time) and my attention has wandered. Naughty I know and I apologise if you catch me at it :-).

13 - Don't make a fuss out of our birthdays
The worst birthday I've had was when I was on a course. The other people on the course found out ... and dragged me to a bar where they insisted I drink shots. I'm not a regular drinker, so you can imagine part of me was screaming inside. Yep. That was a bad, tortuous birthday. I was very ill too.
Nah - my preferred birthday is to come into work as normal (to be around people), nip out to get the cakes at a cunningly chosen time (1 hour before lunchtime when people are hungriest) and tell everyone in sight and in range (email counts there) that they really need to Grab Cake. I love that. It lets me celebrate the birthday and people usually disappear quickly after grabbing the cake.

14 - We don't want to make a fuss out of your birthday.
Not so sure here. I'd like to be invited to birthday thingies. Not yet mind, I'm still rarely in a state where I want to go out in public (but improving)

15 - If we've chosen to be friends with you, appreciate it.
See above comments about taking it hard when I don't get replies. I can appreciate people being busy and missing replies but ... if you never get a reply from someone you've reached out to ? That's very rude. I have a simple philosophy there :

I will continue reaching out, because that's who I am. I don't want to change that.
Some people I'll have fun with as they communicate.
Other people I'll expect to have ignore me. I now shrug there ... their loss.

Oh dear - this has turned into mega Wall Of Text hasn't it ... see no 7 !
I thought I'd finish on something completely random that I saw earlier. Cya !

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