Fit to not play

Things are improving :-)

Slowly yeah - but that skin condition finally seems to be under control again, with the bad bits seeming as if they want to repair themselves (slowly).

The secret has been to try and have much more self discipline to stop myself from "helping" it get better. The help has the opposite effect. It does feel good though, to touch bits of me that were quite bad a couple of months ago and find them to be ultra smooth.

It's not perfect yet, not by a long shot (there's still bits of me that are well torn up) but I could probably wear shorts in public now without putting people off their lunch.

Erm. Maybe. Hairy legs can really upset some people.

So yeah - I'm in better condition (externally) than I have been since last year, although there's still a patch on one of my knees which will get scoured again by my knee pads if I played any cricket this week.

There's two games I could play in this week but I've not declared any availability for either. I'm technically available but there's a few reasons why I'm hiding :

I could do with a few more evenings chilling out
I'd rather see fit and keen people play ahead of me
I'm still far from perfect on the outside and need more healing time
I'm definitely coping with a lots of broken bits inside

But there's actually a bigger reason - I don't trust the captaincy (it's a stand in tomorrow). I'm best in the field where I can get in close and put pressure on the batsmen. I keep moving and keep chatting. I'm involved in the game. However ... I tend to get dispatched further out because of what remains of my speed. That's bad because I can't throw and don't trust my eyes at the moment.

I'll play for the other team next week but I'm a bit more wary about the team with games this week. I actually walked away from one team I used to play for due to the same reason, although that was more because I was driving back from uni on a weekend to play and doing nothing but field. Yawn.

Besides - I've been invited out on the town by a gorgeous lady on Thursday which just happens to clash with one of the games. (Finance Angel K is leaving us to join her hubby).

Have you noticed that ? There's quite a few finance girls I know who are absolute angels. Wonder how that comes about ? Does the finance specialisation/profession attract that type of personality ?

So yeah. I'm technically intact enough to play again but I'm not going to. Partly because I still feel a bit too broken. Although you can bet that if something happened like a pretty lady who needed her car push started, I'd be the first to volunteer and those muscles would help out. (I used to be able to provide enough pushing power to get a small car up to bumpstart speed on my own - no kidding).

I'm rambling again aren't I ?

Here's a few more random thoughts :

Putting your hand on your bum and finding it to be very smooth = Very cool feeling.
Still thinking that to be a novelty = sign that you've been through something unusual.
Having a shower and having to hide from very bright sun = strange
(my bathroom window is on an angle conspires with the sun at this time of year)
GoG.com sales are dangerous (I've bought 7 games so far)
Steam sales are too, unless it's a Paradox sale weekend
(they make great concepts but something goes wrong between concept and implementation)
Every time I listen to Goldfrapp's Utopia, it gets ever more incredible.

Yeah - feeling better today. Definitely better than the depression inspired post last week. Perhaps it's that theory of if you analyse and talk yourself through a problem, it helps you cope with it better. A lot will be down to having a much easier weekend than usual.

Here's to hoping those improvements will continue. I won't be all fixed tomorrow or even next week but if a couple of bits fix, then another couple of bits fix then sometime soon I'll be all fixed.

And that's what I'm looking forward to. It'll be a closing of that chapter and possibly the opening of a new one.