Friday, October 31, 2014

Batten down the hatches ...

... Execute Darken Ship protocol.

Halloween can be fun. There's the dressing up and excuse for partying. However ... it's not all like that. The problem is when the minority spoil it for the people wanting a bit of fun.

(Warning - I'm shattered and a little disappointed right now, so the depressive part of me is winning).

A lot of people, like me, choose to hide all signs of life from the outside world tonight. Sometimes, the scariest monster can be quite young ... The kiddie that doesn't understand that "Trick" often equates to irreparable criminal damage. Actually, that's not usually the kiddies, it's the teenage gangs.

I don't have a problem with the children touring the neighbourhood on Trick or Treat (as long as there's an adult keeping an eye on them). It's the older teenagers who are effectively demanding sweeties with menaces. And if they don't get what they want, then out come the bricks.

I've heard of that happening. It's why I make it look as if I'm just not in.

Ok - enough of that. Gotta admit, I'm pretty disappointed again. I'm also suffering for energy debt too. Yep. Struggling. (I suspect that energy debt would soon turn into sparkiness if the person who I asked if she'd like to see the Alien double bill actually replied).

That's another thing ... I have two overriding feelings at the moment : Rude & Disrespect.

Rude - because someone who keeps saying that she's lonely, doesn't like being lonely and other things like that, isn't checking out the opportunity when someone says they really like them. Yeah. Complete lack of any response (but apparent interest judging by the hit logs) is steering into Rude. Has probably been Rude for a long time now.

I think it would work out between me and that particular lady. I know a huge amount about her and what makes her tick, I know who I am. I think we'd work. I think she'd like the Grin and the person behind the Grin. But that ain't going to get the chance as long as the other person refuses to come out of that comfort zone. I feel as if I've been wasting a lot of time and emotional energy and also investing some of underpinnings of psychological stability.

(Translation - I'm a bit fed up and depressed because I was depending to some extent on getting a positive reply. Or even a neutral or negative reply. But ... I got nuthin')

Disrespect ? That's on my side. Because by focusing so utterly on one person, means I'm being disrespectful to the person who's showing more than passing interest in me. We won't get the chance to meet in person for a few weeks but I'm looking forward to it.

So the thought for how I tackle things over the next few weeks is :

Take it easy and see about keeping the healing going (I seem to be reclaiming my arms ...)
Wonder how I'd reply if the Rude Girl replies
Investigate other opportunities (I know someone "interesting" but don't know about the "available")
Figure out what to say to the Busy Pretty Lady

Yeah. I'm upset.

But that's partly down to seeming to have hit a wall as far as energy goes. I've been having the sleep problems again - that's partly down to the Psoriasis. I'll be flaking out in the evening yet be unable to drop off to sleep when going to bed. Frustrating. And then the itchy/scratchy/moreitchy circle destroys all chance of sleep.

You can probably tell that's not doing good things for my state of mind.

I'll be ok. I'm just feeling the lonely.

PS Watching Godzilla and I'm tempted to do the Alien double bill thing anyway. I have them on dvd and it's been so long since I watched those two movies ... Oh and there's about to be the first Monster Mega Fight so it's time to concentrate on the movie :-)

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