Cos .... random thoughts ...

Gosh.

Over a week again since last post. Slipping again !

I've been partly looking inwards again, partly being very frustrated at a couple of things. Definitely looking forward to the chats I have with a few people. Lovely people get the mind directed towards good things and away from the bad.

And I know a few lovely people who raise my spirits when the messages come in.

I do like the games. But I like talking to and interacting with good people even more.

Smiles bring smiles.

Struggling at the moment though. I read something that described High Functioning Depression the other day and it's Internet Doctoring again but I do share a lot of those symptoms. I definitely have trouble getting myself going at the moment, with it being a real struggle to do anything for myself. I'm much better at doing things for others.

I'm extremely self critical (including about not posting here too much!) and the frustrations about the new IT at work have been (probably very justifiably because the system is garbage) getting to me. I like to be able to get work done and it's just .... getting in the way.

Condition of me probably doesn't help there. My feet are the worst bit still and are taking a while to repair. But ... when I'm able to leave them alone, there is actual progress. It's getting there, still extremely slowly and prone to quick setbacks but ... it's improving bit by bit.

Still gets to me though. I feel the worn down ness again although I think I have been getting more sleep. It does help perhaps that I've been going to bed at more reasonable times (although that has been due to being absolutely shattered !)

How about those good things though ?

I have bought 2.5 games so far in the Steam sale and there are likely to be 2 more .... The 2.5 I have acquired are Stardew Valley, Starbound and a DLC pack for Motorsport Manager. Plus soundtracks for Stardew and Starbound.

I've been enjoying the soundtracks of Stardew and Starbound although I haven't opened the games yet. I had a peek at the Motorsport Manager DLC and a couple of races with the new bits (GT cars and a KERS mechanic) but I've been concentrating on the save game that I've had going for a little while now. It's to take a very weak team and get them winning at the top. After a few seasons dominating the middle championship (to generate money to build up stuff to get more money to get a money warchest for competing at the top), I've had the team struggling in their first run in the top tier. They're 8th best team at the moment, which is probably better than can be hoped for. Gonna build from there and should catch up.

I've been enjoying the Motorsport Manager.

Although you do have to ignore the drivers when they get too keen. Improve on a time set in the dry when it's tipping it down ? I don't think so Mr Becker. It's perhaps more interesting to play when you're mid field than when you're dominating, because skill as a player and your decisions count more. Managed to get a driver finish on the same lap as the leaders in the last race, which is first time that season. I did have to hack the save game though, my championship expectations got set to a "I'm sure I didn't pick that" too high level of 6th, which nearly saw my person fired ... Oops. I only modified the championship expectation to what it should have been - sorted.

Watching the cricket has been good. The Champions Trophy was good when the weather started cooperating, lots of good games with close results. I'm looking forward to a good game tomorrow between the ladies teams of England and Sri Lanka. Fingers crossed for an England win and some spectacular keeping from Sarah Taylor. It's good to see that one back, she's an absolute legend behind the stumps.

I miss playing the cricket but at the same time, I remember what it was like around the games. Cricket brings pain. And fun. But also a lot of pain. I have trouble sometimes gripping things due to the damage to my knuckles from nearly caught cricket balls. It's the nearly caught ones that murder your bones.

The games ? I'm likely to buy 2 more games in the steam sale and then that'll probably be it.

Halcyon 6 is a curious one. It is set immediately after the New Terra Homeworld gets demolished by aliens and you're the last hope, living on a highly advanced alien starbase from which you build a fleet to kick those aliens back to their own dimension. Lots of character in this game.

Bounty Train is a light hearted looking one where you are a train driver in a 19th century America. The aim is to trade, fight, upgrade and improve your train so you can get the funds to buy control of your dad's old company.

I've been watching a couple of playthroughs of these games to try and make my mind up and .... Yep. It's dangerous who and what you watch sometimes. Did I mention both of these games come with soundtracks ? :-D.

Talking about watching things .... it is the cricket season now and that does tend to take priority with what's on the telly but .... My series link list has seriously diminished ! It used to be up to I think 14 things being recorded, it's now at 5 ... (F1, Dark Matter, Killjoys, Deadliest Catch, Mountain Men). Where did the shows go ? :-). Means I can catch up on the recordings and maybe, just maybe watch a few of the series of dvd that I've been meaning to watch for ages just not really had time.

The Doctor Who finale was really something though wasn't it. I won't do the spoiler thing but ... special finish to a very good series. I did like Bill, her actress did a stellar job all the way through the series and Peter Capaldi has followed in the footsteps of all those who went before of Perhaps ... Perhaps ... being the Best Doctor Ever. They've all been amazing in their own ways, all been different. From the madness of Matt Smith, to the gravitas of Peter Capaldi.

I've definitely enjoyed his time as Doctor, although I'm not sure there will be a "I'm not crying, you're crying" moment like when the Curator turned up in the 50th anniversary special. Tom Baker was born for the role.

So yeah. Hanging in there.

Struggling a bit. (Aren't we all?)

Looking for a bit of an escape route.

And being very grateful to friends who give me some of that escape route and help with the struggles.