Feeling that pain again

There's a few times I put stuff here that I really don't want to post, partly because posting it acknowledges it ...

Pain levels are ramping up again ... It seems that as my skin condition improves (and it is, it's a hell of a lot better than it was even 1 month ago), the condition of my insides degrades. Actually, my outsides are now pretty much at the point where if I leave it alone enough (tougher than it sounds!), it may well heal on its own.

And at the moment, you're probably thinking - this is going to be a self pitying post listing all my problems. Which it is - but there's an ulterior motive ... Listing my problems helps me assimilate them, acknowledge them, tackle them and in the end, hopefully beat them.

So what are the problems at the moment ?

Number 1 - acid. I had a period a few years ago when I suffered quite badly from acid reflux. That seems to be coming back but it's fairly explainable. I can acknowledge the triggers and avoid most of them :
Cheese - no more take out pizza. Cheese is definitely consistently making me react. This one's fairly easy to address. Cut out the Dominos when I'm eating alone and save it for when I'm out with people.
Stress - not so easy. I really need to be looking elsewhere, especially with the main blocker (the skin condition) being on the mend. I've been where I am too long and what I'm doing now is less interesting than what I was doing a few years ago. (Not close enough to the tech).

Apart from that, it's grazing on certain things to keep my tummy busy. Give the acid something to work on. Speaking of that, I should really put the dinner on ...

Number 2 - physical state. It feels like some of my tendons are not wanting to be where they should be. Muscles are taking every opportunity to misbehave. Let's have a look at that :

Tendons - I've had a problem with my hips for a while now. It's damage from cricket most of all. I never really figured out a good way of warming up my groin muscles and all the turning and bending you do with cricket takes its toll after a while. This is affecting my hips and my back with the shoulder occasionally joining in too. Improvements in the skin condition will help there too, because instead of sitting on the floor (cos of treatment issues) I'll be more comfortable sitting on sofas and chairs. Hopefully when the repairs get closer to finishing, some of the mineral levels which must be out of whack at the moment will get back to normal. That's been my usual cause of cramp - things like salt imbalance.

But I may still need my hips looked at and I suspect I'll be one who gets hip replacements early. Possibly my knees too, because they've been complaining since the swelling has gone down. I think the swelling was actually keeping my knees intact !

So the solution to this one will be to not take quite so many liberties with how I throw myself around. I've already said I won't play cricket for one of my teams next year. If the other one folds, then I've played my last regular cricket. It still feels like I have some unfinished business there though, especially with the batting but I'd also like an authentic match conditions stumping.

What helped my back before was a couple of very lovely ladies who put my back together again after I hurt it. (Lovely ? Yeah, there was serious emotional trauma involved with them but - that healed in time, they healed my back much quicker saving me from pain of a different kind). I've not found a cooperative healer since then. Yeah, I could go find a physio and that would probably help out my hips too.

That touches on Number 3 ... Mental state

I've mentioned before that I'm touched by manic-depressive tendencies. Well, at the moment, the depressive tendencies are winning out over the manic tendencies that make me bouncy. And what makes this aspect of pain most difficult is that it's something you can rarely deal with on your own.

I really do miss not being around people. I've been hiding a little too long. Hopefully I can reverse that soon. But that's not really what I miss. It's being around special people who think I'm special too. You can feel alone in a crowd but if there's that one special person holding your arm ?

And that's one pain that I'm struggling to do something about. I've met a lot of special people over the years, there's still a few around who I think are special. But ... I've never found anyone where that special feeling is mutual.

Still looking ;-) My problems can be addressed though :

Acid - avoid cheese, keep the stress down
Muscles - be more careful, take in the fluids
Mental - bit more difficult

PS I hate having negative posts as the latest one on here - I must knock it off the top tomorrow with the conclusion of that Top 40 :-)