Thinking - Empathy

I like to think I'm a bit of an empath.

That is - I'll pick up on how people around me are feeling and unconsciously react to it. I'll start to echo what they're feeling. It's nowhere near perfect and depends on being around people but I think it's there.

I definitely react to my true boss - he's one of the most professional people I know. Also highly driven. My partly unconscious reaction to that is to go a little more berzerk hyperactive. It's a very good example to follow as it helps me crack on through the workload we have. But I also have to keep sure to maintain my own focus when the atmosphere in the office gets agitated.

Yep. The antenna also works on the bad stuff. We have someone on the team who is going through some really rough stuff at the moment and to her infinite credit, she hides it incredibly well. It's positively valiant the way she keeps on going through what's happening. But that empath antenna still picks up the hidden signs and the reactions are :

Wanting to burst into tears in sympathy with what's happening
Wanting to give the Big Hug and say everything will work out ok

Trouble is that sometimes what someone would want to do to help out may actually cause more problems than it solves.

So I'm a little frustrated that I know there's someone out there that needs some help and support but it's not the Right Thing to do at the moment.

Kinda wish it went the other way too. I'm a bit too good at hiding my own inner feelings for people to pick up that I'm struggling or could do with a hug or two coming my way. Or at least being dragged to the canteen to talk through what's bugging me over lunch. I have my own emotional armour and it's incredibly rare that people are allowed in.

The hyperactivity gets in the way of the empath antenna too.

It's a bit like constant noise in my head and a buzzing through my body. Don't get me wrong, the hyperactivity is great for getting me the energy to do stuff. Trouble is, it can be an effort to focus it and I will skip right over essential steps. The noise from it also means I'll miss vital signs from other people.

Urk - I'm rambling again.

Empathy is a great thing, if there's people around who pay attention to it. There's people who are acutely aware of how people around them are feeling, there's people who are completely dead to others and there's the ones who unconsciously react like me. And I'm not kidding about the bursting into tears feeling, that time hit me completely unawares ...

But there's also those magical people who make you feel that little bit better just by the power of their smile :

Snow Queen - who's strength could let her take on the world if she got the chance
Mrs Sunshine - who always brightens up the room
The Boss - who has her own brand of empathy that kept her as The person to talk to in my old team before it started getting broken up
Finance Angels - this pair are always smiling and ready with a "Hello Pete" that makes me melt :-) (they're also both recently married, which I think is a big factor in their inner happiness)


And that's just 5 of the people I see almost every day at work (And there's a few more outside the projects too). I try and contribute in my own way by not taking things too seriously while still looking to get things done. Laugh about mistakes while you fix them. Punishing people for every tiny mistake just makes them hide the mistakes until the mistakes get serious. Keeping a sense of humour going helps in keeping the perspective right.

It's a far better world out there when people are aware of how others are feeling.

PS Cricket has now finished so it's time to grab some dinner ! Need pancakes. Not got pancakes ...