Wednesday, November 25, 2015

A to Z of the Human Heart - C and D

Yey ! More meme. I like memes. Can you tell ?

C is for Criticism. Both within and without. The faults you point out in others are often faults you know are in yourself. The way you look at the world is the way the world looks at you. Criticism is a form of self harm, go easy.

Wise words indeed. I take criticism very much to heart. I depend heavily on the opinions of others, which is one reason I seek out the opinions of others. Good opinions will make me smile and go harder, negative opinions can be crushing.

If you criticise someone, you never know how they will receive it. Will they see it as constructive guidance in how to do things better ? Will it kick away the foundations of their confidence. Be wary of how other people receive the treatment you give them. Keep them on your side, instead of driving them into corners where they feel caged.

Going back to the cricket, I was a very noisy player on the field. I think that's one reason the captains liked to have me in the team. But I always directed that noise into positive encouragement for the team. Lots of claps, lots of GO TEAM (and similar). Shouting "Next time !!!" if a close run out was missed. Joining in with lbw HOWZIEEEEEEEEEEE !!!! appeals. Never sledging*. Bascially trying to jee all of the team up, the biggest danger for a fielding team is when things go quiet because players then go to sleep and miss the chances.

*There was one incident and it happens to be on my Twitter pic - a colleague in my section at work was playing for the other team and he was just coming in to bat. He and I had been involved in several run out incidents that season so I had to. Definitely had to. Yep, I piped up with a "This fella won't last long until we run him out". MUAHAHA. Think that's the only sledging I've been involved with and he took it in good heart. You never can tell with players, sometimes sledging will fire them up and you come off worse.
Cricket is always a great teacher.

C is also for Compassion.

To live with love. Caring for the sick ... and the healthy. It is giving and being gracious when receiving.

I think I have this (although it may not show while I'm driving). I'll have to go to others to see what they think. I don't give everything to everyone else, you spread yourself too thin by doing that. But I do like to spread the smile around, even if I do save the very special smiles for a select very few.
D is for the D word - Depression.

So many of us have this. So many of my friends. I suffer from it and am very prone to downwards dips that get hidden behind my emotional armour. When they hit, I am less effective in everything. I look at the messiness of my house and it depresses me to the point where I do nothing about it. That's a typical self reinforcing depression factor that we suffer from. I should get off my butt and sort out one little area at a time, I know that would make me feel better but that depression paralysis intervenes.

Mine is also triggered by Criticism. And by being ignored. It was a harsh wilderness I found myself in when I was reaching out to quite a few ladies over the decade I've lived on my own, only to find promising signs turned to total lack of contact. That's in the past though. There's a few ladies who seem to appreciate me sending them daft messages and one in particular who brings out a MASSIVE SMILE when a text comes in.

I depend on others to help me with my depressive tendencies. Whether it's just a smile, or a message. Hugs are awesome. Depressive tendencies are tough. But much tougher if they stop you reaching out.

And I just looked in the book to see what it says ! It echoes the Talk advice. Whether that's friends, a doctor or a therapist. The bad stuff will only get worse if it's allowed to fester in your head. You need to talk it out to someone, if only so you can analyse it enough to frame it into rational thoughts. And then have a "You're not alone" hug.

D is also for Daring.

It is stepping knowingly into the unknown. Being first to try something. It gets things done.

Someone with a lot of daring found out how to get milk from cows. Or they were just someone very strange who had an accident that turned out happy for the rest of us.

Ok, maybe not the best example.

But you know what I mean. A little bit of daring saw me step into playing the cricket and I enjoyed every minute of doing that. Even the injuries. Ok, maybe not the times when it was so cold my muscles started to freeze ? It takes a bit of daring when I reply to posts on Twitter (fear of being ignored again) or when I was initiating contact with people on the dating website.

But that little bit of daring got me in touch (eventually!) with a wonderful little lovely lady who really brightens my days up when a message comes in. (I've deactivated the account on that site now ;-) ).
(post ed, slight correction - I've unsubbed from the paid part of the site but the account is still active. Haven't looked at it for ages though)

Try stuff. Dare yourself to do things. I'm glad I did the Shaun Hunt in the summer, it proved that these aging muscles and bones can still do things like that. I needed that for my fragile self confidence. Similar with meetings, positive feedback reminds me that I might actually know what I'm talking about and have good ideas. It helps offset the lack of appreciation from other areas. And it took a little bit of daring to gather the self confidence to pipe up in those meetings.

That's it for today I think ! E and F at some point in the near future.

I thought about maybe doing last year's Christmas Photo Meme again, I really enjoyed doing that last year but ... I think I'd pick out most of the same pictures again. I need a new meme !

After this one. Cya !

PS I'm going to keep linking the book in these posts. I'd thoroughly recommend picking it up for feel good feels.

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