I-Hurt

Yep. It's one of those again.

But ... it's not all bad. And it has nothing to do with a certain new device that may well be I-Hurt if you do the strap up too tight. Or get one of those metal straps which bite all the hairs off your wrist.

Nah. I'm not going to get the latest new fangled Apple thingymybobby. I don't need it. (Like the iPads I've been eyeing up - I don't need them). I'm quite happy with my ... (deep thought and more fingers needed than I have to count) 17 year old Accurist. It's done me well that one. I can read it without my glasses on (this is no easy thing) and I only have to change the battery every few years.

Oh my, this seems to be morphing into one of those rambling posts where I talk about anything and everything. (There's a lesson in that)

It's been one of those days today. We do a little bit too much strategizing at work, planning how to do stuff. Figuring out how to keep the disparate parts of the organisation working with the other parts. Conniving how to get the money for our stuff. Looking into the crystal ball to see what's ahead. Dealing with "confidence levels" instead of hard facts. How much actual Doing do we do ? Sometimes, it feels like not much. I get pretty fed up with that after a while. Especially as all the scheming and politics interferes with me getting Stuff done.

All that stuff seems to have created its own ecosystem. A wise man once said (and I picked it up from a Civ 4 omnipedia entry) "The bureaucracy expands, to meet the demands of the expanding bureaucracy." Yep. Silly.

But enough about that. Frustrations like that will only be solved by getting out of that environment and into something more useful. I've started looking there. But it does depend on the right opportunity opening up. There are other frustrations as well "We can't do this because we're too busy poking our noses into stuff outside our business" is one I keep hearing. I'm an integrator, I get my fingers lightly on everything, diving into the details when I need to. But I also recognise when to ignore the details and let the experts get on with it.

More people could do with leaving alone where their interference ... well ... interferes and hinders.

I'm getting this all out now aren't I ?

Bring forth the pitchforks and light the torches !

The reason the frustration is coming out is because the tiredness is hitting again. I know why that is and it's combined with my weight going up. My metabolism has gone into low gear again. That leads to tiredness, weight gain and a general feeling of lack of worth. Oh I've been feeling cold too. But it's not just the Tired, the arms and legs have been hurting too.

I like to have my legs folded, it's almost a compulsion. But the pain rising in my hips is making that ... sore. My muscles have hit that imbalance where they try and cramp up at every opportunity. (They're not that bad - yet. And I'll use the "drink lots of water" treatment). My back feels constantly twisted and is also picking up that poorly muscle thing.

However - and this is where the lesson comes in.

When the bad feelings come in, do what you can to banish them. That's harder for some than others. Definitely. But if you focus on the good, it can happen. So - and to go back to another pic from the archive :

With the youtube people, I could get angry that the messages I send don't get the response I'd like. Or I could recognise that they're busy people probably being bombarded with all sorts of stuff. Lesson - behave as you would like others to behave to you. Be good to people.

I'll freely admit that I have way too much fast food from the local chippie and the KFC over at the Mall. They know me at those places now, probably because I smile at them and treat them with lots of respect. The smiles make both of us happy. It's got to the point where they see me approaching the counter and break out in a "Hallo!!!" and smile. That's awesome and really brightens up my trips to the Mall where I end up really flagging by the time it comes to munchies.

I really enjoyed the Comic Con trip. And I got a huge hug at the end of it. You can't know how tempting it was to drive real slow by the end just to have a bit more time with Dear Heart. To give her more ... normality (that sounds weird but there's context which I'm not passing on) and a good day out with a caring friend.

And there's that huge smile which breaks out when I get a message in. People have noticed that I've been feeling happier these past few months.

It's coming from feeding that good wolf. Here's a good wolf that we fed :

Yep. Dear old man Scruff again. We fed him as a pup, maybe 3-4 years old only. He'd been abandoned, presumably from a car in the middle of the N.Ireland countryside and he plopped down on our back door, starving and with ribs showing. And he stayed with us as our loyal friend, protector, postman scarer for the next decade and a half.

Did I mention randomness ? Think I did.

Yep. Tired now. Hurting somewhat. But those hurty feelings evaporate when I think of the smiles I get. From the ladies in the munchie places. From making the attempt to get smiles from the internet people. From sending crazy comments to friends and seeing the bemused amused responses. From hoping that from my actions, at least one person is happier or better able to cope with this life.

Lots of people are struggling at the moment, both at home and away. Try and make the world a better place by helping where you can. Whether that be by donations (I never really see how this truly helps), by being a trusted ear so people can talk through their problems. By passing on smiles where you can.

Smiles are awesome. They make all sorts of troubles fade away. Hugs are better. But hugs tend to draw slaps if the person you suddenly do a bear hug on wasn't expecting it. Worse - I know a few short people who either wear shoes with spears or have devastating uppercuts. You know what I mean.

But smiles are good. Talking is better. It doesn't help anyone to bottle up the problems until you hit breaking point. If you feel like things are getting on top of you, talk to friends, talk to colleagues. They'll be happier helping you out than knowing you're struggling. The good ones will anyway.

I've rambled enough - be good to people ! They may not return the favour but you'll feel better for making the effort. It's how you are that's important. If they don't reply, shrug, move on and smile at the next person.

Cya !