Tuesday, January 22, 2013

How you doin' ?

That's that polite question that you always hear. Facebook has taken it on too, with lots of people giving literal answers to the "How's it going ?" that it puts in the status update entry box.

I say "polite" question because people always expect an answer along the lines of "I'm doing great, thanks, how are you ?". I've been breaking the mould on that lately by giving a standard answer of delaying slightly (to consider the answer!) and saying "improving".

I don't think people have been entirely prepared for that answer. It's a little too honest :-).

Or perhaps their mind is working through "He's improving, I didn't realise there was anything wrong, what did I miss ?" I like that "what did I miss ?" thought as it suggests that I've been able to hide this skin problem since it exploded late last summer.

I am genuinely improving too, although painfully (literally!) slowly and not really helped by me too. The damage is steadily declining, where I don't do the self inflicted wounds thing. Because things are taking a long time to heal, if I disrupt that healing by giving into temptation and scratching the damaged bits it sets back the healing more than you might think. Work can be a bit awkward because moving around more means the healing can be disrupted by what I'm wearing. And I've not said what the most awkward thing is yet ;-)

No need to go back to the doctor's place though just yet. Just more self discipline to erase a life long tendency to attack the bits of me that aren't right yet.

It is genuinely improving though (I can wear a helmet again!) and I think I've identified a few things that were making my skin go wrong :

Work. I might be allergic to work. LOL :-) Nah. It's the buildings, they have a very dry atmosphere which I think is a very minor contributor to what's gone wrong. It's something to live with, I'm not about to insist on any special conditions for it although working from home may be something I have to talk to management about.
White bread - not so sure about this one now, although I've not had the unpleasantness of being unable to breathe since I ditched the white bread.
Stress - always causes problems. But the reasons for that stress are not something I'm going to put here. Although what Ms Warpath suggested earlier today rings very true.

Orange juice/citrus. This is huge. If you're continually getting mouth ulcers without the explanation of "I bit my mouth" then that's a major signal that you're eating/drinking something you shouldn't. What I didn't realise is that a citrus allergy might extend to lemon muffins too :-).

You know what that means ? I will be forced to consume only chocolate muffins.

(I promise to eat other stuff as well which might be vaguely healthy - says he knowing that after I finish this post, the first thing I'll do is fetch an apple from the kitchen)

The last thing I know that's causing me problems is water ... Yep. It appears to be a little boy problem. And you know what little boys hate ? Bathing ! Looks like having a shower is causing two problems - the towel is damaging the skin and the water is leaching out the bits I need for healing. But I know how to get around that (it involves being gentle and using lots of moisturiser).

I know - awkward. But - by understanding why it's bad in one way, you can make an adjustment, do things differently and deal with the inconvenience.

Lesson - there's a way around every problem. You just need to believe that there is an answer there, even if it's not obvious.

Sometimes you need to ask for help, sometimes you need to find a strength from within. Sometimes you need Rubber Mallet assistance to get inspiration. Hopefully not too often though because concussion is a Bad Thing.

I'm hopeful that I'll make the cricket season, although I'm definitely not ready yet. Too much damage and too much time needed for repairs. What is helping is knowing there's good friends out there who are genuinely concerned when they find out when I'm not healthy. I've been lucky to have been involved in an awesome project for longer than I should have. That's one reason why it's been tough to let go, although I know that in the new one there is potential for me to have the autonomy I never had (and could have done with to get things done!) in the old project.

Ok Ok ! That's enough self indulgence for tonight, where's those apples :-)

PS One thing about the people on the project is that if proves true the old saying about when genuine friends meet up for the first time in a while, they'll pick up from old conversations. And that's proved true about 2 very lovely ladies from the old project who I had the chance to have conversations with over the past week after meeting them at random :-)

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