Oops - forgot a title :-)

You know those days when you're rushing around frenetically but when the day's done, you haven't a clue what you've achieved ?

Been having a few of those lately. Part of it's firefighting stuff that other people just haven't done, part of it's working my usual pattern of getting the little jobs out of the way quickly and then completely banishing them from memory. But I think the most part is down to being distracted again.

This time it's my back stiffening up and I guess this post shows how much it's bugging me at the moment. I'm one of those people who try to hide all signs of any pain they may be in, which is a trait I really took on while playing cricket. It's a tough game cricket, the randomness means you get hit pretty often by a ball which definitely isn't soft ... And if you show pain, it'll encourage bowlers who then think they're getting the better of you. So you don't show any sign that the ball that bounced a bit more than you thought has fractured a finger or that the one you took on the leg means your movement is hampered.

A batsman shaking a hand in pain or sporting a limp is like a red rag to a bowler, trust me - I've been the bowler with the evil grin a few times :-)

So I try to avoid all outward signs of any pain I may be in. Sometimes that's easy, there are wonderful days when I have no pain whatsoever. Other times it's hard, with the toughest part being to not get caught in a negative feedback loop where taking notice of the pain means you stress more, which tenses up the muscles which makes them hurt more. That's negative feedback (or negative reinforcement) at play.

So yeah - hey, my back's sore, time for me to try and deal with it.

What I'd like to do is find someone with strong fingers to rub that stiff part of me better. (Oi! I know there's one or two out there who thinks that last sentence is smutty :-) People like that seem to be a bit thin on the ground at the moment, or that could be my unfortunate habit of going after the unattainable.

What I think I'll have to settle for is a looooong hot shower (lets see if I can run the hot water tank to empty !) and then hope I don't embarass myself and others tomorrow by begging for a massage :-) :-) :-)

Other stuff I do when stress is rearing its head is try to make myself and others laugh. Turning frustration into fun doesn't make the problem go away but it is like making a statement that you're not going to let the stress win. It's either that or a deep need to bang one's head against the wall. That's why I prefer laughter, it has less chance of needing hospital visits than trying to do demolition without the proper tools.

What else have I been up to apart from feeling sorry for myself with a bad back ?

Think I may leave that for a post coming soon cos I hate to have a depressive post at the top of the blog :-) A summary would be : books, games, music, TV :

Legend of the Seeker - scifi channel series, watched 3 and it's got my interest bigtime. Possibly due to the Foxy & Ferocious Bridget Regan who co stars.
Defying Gravity - BBC are showing this and it's totally blowing away Stargate Universe. SG:U is dim, dark, depressing and devoid of humour. Defying Gravity is highly entertaining light, fluffy, decent scifi that cheats only a little. It remembers the purpose of TV, which is to entertain. Stargate SG:1 remembered that, Atlantis tried hard to entertain but they've totally forgotten with SG:U.

Books - finished the Ringworld series, it's a fitting epic end of the series. Next stop is the 2 books set in Bioware's Mass Effect universe.
Games - more Bioware, they have a talent for good storytelling and most importantly they draw the player in with the interaction with the non-player characters. I struggle with some well regarded computer role playing games like Bethesda's attempts (Elder Scrolls, Fallout 3) but Bioware's Dragon Age is another that has my attention. Possibly because of the character Morrigan, voiced by Farscape's Claudia Black.

Right - that hot shower is now overdue, time for me to escape to that so I can listen in to more of Morrigan's antics before trying for sleep.

PS Claudia Black has long dark hair. Bridget Regan in Legend of the Seeker has long dark hair. I'm doomed.