Get foiled by Amazons !
Random thoughts today cos my mind is everywhere and nowhere ...
I was hoping to get some concentrated Saving Of The Universe in this weekend with a new game called Mass Effect 3 (yes, you may have caught that there's two bits of controversy on this one ...) which I'd preordered months ago from Amazon. You'd have thought they'd be able to deliver on release day but it's only just come through today. Bit meh. And that's deja vu from when Mass Effect 2 was released, with that one I cancelled the preorder and got it from Asda on release day after Amazon failed to fulfill the order.
Saving the world could wait though :
Very tired right now and the stress level is approaching the limit of what I can successfully suppress. March is a tricky month for me, as I've usually had a break before now. It's the length of time between the Xmas break and the Easter break that gets me. Possibly a bit of Seasonally Affective Disorder as well coming into play.
So if I'm snappy right now and not as focused as I should be, that's why. Same for absentmindedness. Confidence has gone low too, so my latent hyperactivity is not burning through that stress as much as it should.
The stress is also why I'm struggling physically as well now. I have full agility (hips are very stiff but they'll live) despite my back telling me it's as stiff as hardwood. Just need that spark, motivation, reason to unlock the energy again. And that's where I depend on doing stuff for other people. Thinking I've helped or cheered someone else up puts that grin back on me and lets me jump into the fray again.
Musicy stuff -
Been expanding the library again. Latest arrivals are Sheryl Crow, Mindy Gledhill (Anchor is a very Happy album), Norah Jones (awesome singer), Maroon 5 (I want da Moves Like Jagger), Katie Melua, Duffy, Tori Amos and the 2001 soundtrack. Definitely enjoying the music ...
... but I'm considering spending cash on another amplifier. Bit daft really, as the current one functions. It's just annoying with the bad HDMI connectivity (Onkyo problem). Let's just say a visit to Richer Sounds for a stand for my bits might end up being more expensive than it ought ...
Loo stuff - I'm still likely to need to do a replacement but I have acquired a secret weapon ... The only question I have now is being able to lift the bits. Porcelain isn't light. One person job too because the access is very tight.
Weight n stuff - very happy here. I've lost almost a stone now, although that has stabilised. I've got used to a different discipline in how I eat and how I snack. Not had cookies in the afternoon at work for a while. It's showing in extra agility, the same power is available in my legs but has less ballast to overcome.
Thinking of diet - seen the latest that says red meat will kill you ? Eating is unhealthy. There's something in everything that will kill you ... eventually. But. Not eating anything will kill you a lot lot faster. Take what you read with a pinch of salt (oops). What comes out of supposedly respectable research places these days resembles sensationalist quackery. It is : Garbage. Eat what works for you, everyone needs different food.
Cricket - hoping I'll have a nets buddy :-) Globesports down in the middle of Bristol offer indoor nets with a bowling machine. Just one session will be more pre season practice than the last maybe 8 seasons put together. I won't be bowling though so I'll need to get my conditioning another way. Like walking around site over a lunch time.
Not that it does much good :-) Even with getting as much pre season practice and conditioning as I could get to 20 years ago, I'd still need a few days to unstiffen after the first game of the season. And that's with me being 20 years less broken :-).
Think that's most of the random thoughts out of my head, at least the ones that escape the tiredness trap that is.
There are more though. I've been keeping an eye on a couple of people lately. Those thoughts are definitely still rumbling around in my head. Thoughts of "is ... ok?" are the first coherent thoughts in the morning and they're the last thoughts before sleep.
Time for a hot shower before starting on that last leg of the Mass Effect trilogy :-)
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
Helpful for Bloggers - labels for posts
Part of Blogger's unasked for and unwanted recent changes has lost us our labels on the bottom of posts.
I'm a bit patchy on labels to be honest. But if I add them, I like them to actually appear. So - how do you get them back if Google's messed up your template ?
Here's something I picked up off da interwebs :
<< grr - copying it through didn't work, see the link below to get your labels back >>
And that's from the Google support forums, linked here.
Seems to work :-) I have my labels back. BUT ! This functionality is another thing that should not have been meddled with by someone who unleashed unwanted and unnecessary change on blogger.
Oh in other news - Amazon have let me down again with a preorder. I preordered Mass Effect 3 ages ago, expecting Amazon to get it to me on or near release day. Well, that was Friday and I haven't got my game yet.
Sad face. (Which to be honest is due to tiredness hitting me)
I'm a bit patchy on labels to be honest. But if I add them, I like them to actually appear. So - how do you get them back if Google's messed up your template ?
Here's something I picked up off da interwebs :
<< grr - copying it through didn't work, see the link below to get your labels back >>
And that's from the Google support forums, linked here.
Seems to work :-) I have my labels back. BUT ! This functionality is another thing that should not have been meddled with by someone who unleashed unwanted and unnecessary change on blogger.
Oh in other news - Amazon have let me down again with a preorder. I preordered Mass Effect 3 ages ago, expecting Amazon to get it to me on or near release day. Well, that was Friday and I haven't got my game yet.
Sad face. (Which to be honest is due to tiredness hitting me)
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Never be afraid of the past
This thought's been rattling around in my head for the past couple of days ...
A friend mentioned "wouldn't want to go back there because of the memories". And I agreed at the time too. The last thing Ravenwolf and I did together as a couple was to head out to Orlando for a fortnight, with Ravenwolf then staying on for another fortnight with her mum and sister.
The overriding memories (it's faded a bit) of the fortnight is :
Chilling out,
Fun at the theme parks,
Being well looked after by the Americans,
Sun and warmth
Those are great memories. But I'd been thinking : "wouldn't want to go back there because of remembering what happened back then.". But while I will think instinctively, I always leave room for changing my mind on stuff later. Which I think still surprises people when I will snap from a preconceived idea to a different one in a heartbeat (I've raced through their logic and recognised its value).
Same with this one - we should always remember what's gone before. But should we be locked into it ? I don't think so. If it's a place worth going, think about what the root cause of the bad memory actually is and confront that instead of denying yourself the good stuff. I'd quite like to go back to Orlando again :-) Especially as the bad memory is from what followed the holiday rather than what happened on the holiday. I suspect I also won't be quite the clueless tourist the second time around.
My problem is motivation - I'm rubbish at doing things for myself because I feel compelled to do things for others. So I wouldn't want to check these things out for myself, I'd quite happily treat someone else to it.
Cricket is another source of bad memory for me (amongst the great cricket memories !) - mostly for injury issues.
I'll not play again at the ground where I broke my nose - but not for those fragmented memories. I was rather glad there was enough time left in the season to bat again after the nose incident, it gave me chance to confront any potential fear before it had time to fester over the winter. I still have the occasional flash of seeing a cricket ball 6 inches from my right eye, which I don't know is a real memory or extrapolated. But that's not the reason for never playing at the ground again. Nah - that's because it's not a fit ground for cricket, with a square that's marshy and very dangerous for cramp prone legs like mine. I always hurt muscles there ! After tearing leg muscles in almost all the games I played there, it's just not worth the risk at 37.
No - the big cricket memory has been confronted and dealt with and the others also get similarly managed.
The bad shoulder still affects me and as well as being unable to bowl it means I should never use power in a throw. But I forget about the memory of the pain and concentrate on fielding to the best of what I can do. Which means letting the captain know so I'm allowed to stay in close where I'm best.
Fear of rejection is another memory I struggle with though. Since Ravenwolf, I've tried a few times to strike up a relationship with other people but it's always ended up with stonewalling before anything actually happened. I like to feel I Matter to other people and that's a crucial part of my feelings of self worth. Memory and fear of rejection is something I still struggle badly with.
That's enough of my attempts to confront my bad memories though :-).
I think I'm dealing with them better lately because what's been happening with a bunch of other people has forced me to look again at stuff from my past. And after another look, it doesn't hurt nearly as much now as it did back then. Things like ditching the jokey but cruel "Evil Ex" tag for her old tag. Although I'm still not that comfortable talking about the details.
Back to the original thing - I'd quite like to go back to Orlando. I enjoyed the chilling out, the space, the fresh air, the warmth, the sun. There's a lot going for places like that, even if it is obvious it's all built for the tourists. They do it so well though :-)
Would I go back there ? With a willing partner, oh yes. Although that's tinged slightly with "why go to the same place twice when there's so many options out there ?" There's lots out there that I haven't seen or experienced.
Right reason to not go - been there before
Wrong reason - stuff that's in the past
But (and this is the last bit of Wall Of Text - honest) : the pain has faded for me, it's still very raw for others with those wounds still bleeding. However, always keep an open mind and allow room for those hard set ideas to change.
A friend mentioned "wouldn't want to go back there because of the memories". And I agreed at the time too. The last thing Ravenwolf and I did together as a couple was to head out to Orlando for a fortnight, with Ravenwolf then staying on for another fortnight with her mum and sister.
The overriding memories (it's faded a bit) of the fortnight is :
Chilling out,
Fun at the theme parks,
Being well looked after by the Americans,
Sun and warmth
Those are great memories. But I'd been thinking : "wouldn't want to go back there because of remembering what happened back then.". But while I will think instinctively, I always leave room for changing my mind on stuff later. Which I think still surprises people when I will snap from a preconceived idea to a different one in a heartbeat (I've raced through their logic and recognised its value).
Same with this one - we should always remember what's gone before. But should we be locked into it ? I don't think so. If it's a place worth going, think about what the root cause of the bad memory actually is and confront that instead of denying yourself the good stuff. I'd quite like to go back to Orlando again :-) Especially as the bad memory is from what followed the holiday rather than what happened on the holiday. I suspect I also won't be quite the clueless tourist the second time around.
My problem is motivation - I'm rubbish at doing things for myself because I feel compelled to do things for others. So I wouldn't want to check these things out for myself, I'd quite happily treat someone else to it.
Cricket is another source of bad memory for me (amongst the great cricket memories !) - mostly for injury issues.
I'll not play again at the ground where I broke my nose - but not for those fragmented memories. I was rather glad there was enough time left in the season to bat again after the nose incident, it gave me chance to confront any potential fear before it had time to fester over the winter. I still have the occasional flash of seeing a cricket ball 6 inches from my right eye, which I don't know is a real memory or extrapolated. But that's not the reason for never playing at the ground again. Nah - that's because it's not a fit ground for cricket, with a square that's marshy and very dangerous for cramp prone legs like mine. I always hurt muscles there ! After tearing leg muscles in almost all the games I played there, it's just not worth the risk at 37.
No - the big cricket memory has been confronted and dealt with and the others also get similarly managed.
The bad shoulder still affects me and as well as being unable to bowl it means I should never use power in a throw. But I forget about the memory of the pain and concentrate on fielding to the best of what I can do. Which means letting the captain know so I'm allowed to stay in close where I'm best.
Fear of rejection is another memory I struggle with though. Since Ravenwolf, I've tried a few times to strike up a relationship with other people but it's always ended up with stonewalling before anything actually happened. I like to feel I Matter to other people and that's a crucial part of my feelings of self worth. Memory and fear of rejection is something I still struggle badly with.
That's enough of my attempts to confront my bad memories though :-).
I think I'm dealing with them better lately because what's been happening with a bunch of other people has forced me to look again at stuff from my past. And after another look, it doesn't hurt nearly as much now as it did back then. Things like ditching the jokey but cruel "Evil Ex" tag for her old tag. Although I'm still not that comfortable talking about the details.
Back to the original thing - I'd quite like to go back to Orlando. I enjoyed the chilling out, the space, the fresh air, the warmth, the sun. There's a lot going for places like that, even if it is obvious it's all built for the tourists. They do it so well though :-)
Would I go back there ? With a willing partner, oh yes. Although that's tinged slightly with "why go to the same place twice when there's so many options out there ?" There's lots out there that I haven't seen or experienced.
Right reason to not go - been there before
Wrong reason - stuff that's in the past
But (and this is the last bit of Wall Of Text - honest) : the pain has faded for me, it's still very raw for others with those wounds still bleeding. However, always keep an open mind and allow room for those hard set ideas to change.
Friday, March 09, 2012
Cake !
A memory like mine has a few advantages among its disadvantages :-)
I tend to think in pictures, feelings and motion. (Which can make it tough to get what I'm thinking turned into words). But what it does mean is that when things stick in there amongst the sawdust, I can pull faces out of my head far better than I can put names to them.
Or ... I can compare how Snow Queen cakes taste to cakes made by mere mortals.
Yep. Snow Queen cakes are far superior to Fabulous Baking Boy muffins (2 for deals from supermarkets are very dangerous).
I still have 6 FBB muffins to go but each one will have me wishing for the taste of one of those Snow Queen buns. They were lush. Oh and I only had 2 at work today, I am supposed to be on a diet after all :-).
PS If Snow Queen cakes are superior to Fabulous BB cakes, what adjective is fitting for the Snow Queen ?
I tend to think in pictures, feelings and motion. (Which can make it tough to get what I'm thinking turned into words). But what it does mean is that when things stick in there amongst the sawdust, I can pull faces out of my head far better than I can put names to them.
Or ... I can compare how Snow Queen cakes taste to cakes made by mere mortals.
Yep. Snow Queen cakes are far superior to Fabulous Baking Boy muffins (2 for deals from supermarkets are very dangerous).
I still have 6 FBB muffins to go but each one will have me wishing for the taste of one of those Snow Queen buns. They were lush. Oh and I only had 2 at work today, I am supposed to be on a diet after all :-).
PS If Snow Queen cakes are superior to Fabulous BB cakes, what adjective is fitting for the Snow Queen ?
Thursday, March 08, 2012
Thursday Thirteen - Music from the decades version 2
Got the ouchies again and I'm desperate for something to take my mind off it. The best way I have for that is to do something nice for someone but opportunities have been lacking lately.
So it's time to dive into music instead. Theme is similar to the last one, except that instead of doing 70s, 80s, 90s etc this one will be ages 0-10, 11-20, 21-30 and 30-too many :
Age 0-10 (1974-1984) is dominated by things I grew up with :
1 - Star Wars theme by John Williams. I was just about old enough to watch Return Of The Jedi in the cinema when it first came out and we always watched the movies when they were a Xmas essential. The movies (all 6 - I'm a forgiving fan) were amazing and are still good today. They've been joined by some excellent books too but ignore the New Jedi Order series and ANY book written by Kevin J Anderson.
2 - Strange Land by Clannad. Another series I grew up with was Robin Of Sherwood (the Michael Praed version). The series hasn't aged particularly well (it wasn't that great to start with !) but the music is pure Irish magic. Clannad are one of those groups that keep coming out with music with plenty of character, driven by the pure vocals of Maire Brennan.
3 - Army Dreamers by Kate Bush. Yep, little boys have dreams about what they'll be doing when they grow up and I was no exception. Although with me, that was coloured by living in Northern Ireland until 11 when the Troubles were starting to wind down. Oh, this track could have been the Milky Bar Kid ad tune, as I was as much a lookalike as the Milky Bar Kid lookalike in the video.
Age 11-20 (1985-1994)
4 - We're the Bunburys by Barry Gibb. I was never too good at football at school and rugby was too muddy (although I was devastating on the wing until knee injuries intervened). Cricket was ace, it gave me an outlet for wanting to run around that fit in perfectly with how my body has always been set up : short bursts of intense action with time to recover. Had some happy days with the cricket and collected a few trophies along the way. This track got adopted as one of the unofficial cricket anthems for a while.
5 - Who Wants To Live Forever by Queen. I have special reasons for posting a song with a theme like this ... A toast to memories, may they last forever even if we don't.
6 - More Than The Blues by All About Eve. I'm a huge All About Eve fan but may not have turned into one if not for this song. It's good but not their best (Apple Tree Man, Scarlet, Are You Lonely and many more) but it caught me when it came on the telly live (quite possibly that linked performance). They have a beautiful singer with a voice that's always been one of my favourites. Great songs, great band, amazing singer.
Age 21-30 (1995-2004) - oh wow this is a hell of a decade for me. University, starting work, big relationship and running straight into a traumatic breakup.
7 - Changes by David Bowie. (iTunes claims it's 1999). So many changes ... I went from school and living with the parents to university and surviving with new friends to starting work and very definitely surviving on my own. And then relationship to incoming breakup.
8 - Should be Intense by Alisha's Attic and I can't believe that's not on Youtube anywhere ... This was a fairly intense time, 2 big relationships (I don't go in for small flings, it's all my heart or nothing) plus all the studying for uni. Then needing to find a job after uni and bouncing round the country on placements for the first 2 years of work. Definitely intense. But also fun amongst the heartache.
9 - What Do I Do Now ? by Sleeper. Which was exactly what I was thinking after uni ... There's a curious contrast between Sleeper and All About Eve. Sleeper's singer outshone her band, which did them a lot of damage. All About Eve's singer was a vital part of their band, you thought of them as All About Eve and not Julianne Regan + band whereas Sleeper was definitely Louise Wiener + band. However, Julianne Regan is an infinitely better singer than Louise Wiener. It's curious the way things like that happen.
Age 31-37 (2005-now)
10 - It's All Over Bar The Crying by Garbage. This time started with me running straight into a major relationship breakup, which happened a fortnight after returning from the USA on a holiday of a lifetime type thing. It's incredibly rare that I'm brought to actual tears but this period had me very close to them on many occasions. It's not so much the shock of a "This Is The End" type thing, it's first dealing with the fallout where I had to lean heavily on the support of friends and then looking at a great gaping void where you thought the future used to be.
11 - If There's A Rocket Tie Me To It by Snow Patrol. Yes, I listen to male singers too occasionally! Snow Patrol can come out with a very raw emotional sound and while I don't show mine too much, it's the same under my skin.
12 - Don't Kiss The Broken One by Hannah Peel. Hannah Peel's music makes me grin. And this one kinda sums me up too. Despite thinking there might be something there a few times since the Ravenwolf (aka Evil Ex but I'm burying that codename from now) breakup, it's not been a mutual attraction. Rejection I can handle but I struggle to deal with being ignored, which is what those few times turned into. I also have a habit of chasing the unattainable while completely missing the obvious
31 to 37 too maudlin ? Perhaps I'm still living in 2005 and haven't moved on sufficiently yet. Or it's a reflection of how I'm feeling at the moment - I'm having trouble ignoring a sore back.
Last one - bonus track which sums me up : Still A Weirdo by KT Tunstall :-) And that's : Weird and proud of it.
So it's time to dive into music instead. Theme is similar to the last one, except that instead of doing 70s, 80s, 90s etc this one will be ages 0-10, 11-20, 21-30 and 30-too many :
Age 0-10 (1974-1984) is dominated by things I grew up with :
1 - Star Wars theme by John Williams. I was just about old enough to watch Return Of The Jedi in the cinema when it first came out and we always watched the movies when they were a Xmas essential. The movies (all 6 - I'm a forgiving fan) were amazing and are still good today. They've been joined by some excellent books too but ignore the New Jedi Order series and ANY book written by Kevin J Anderson.
2 - Strange Land by Clannad. Another series I grew up with was Robin Of Sherwood (the Michael Praed version). The series hasn't aged particularly well (it wasn't that great to start with !) but the music is pure Irish magic. Clannad are one of those groups that keep coming out with music with plenty of character, driven by the pure vocals of Maire Brennan.
3 - Army Dreamers by Kate Bush. Yep, little boys have dreams about what they'll be doing when they grow up and I was no exception. Although with me, that was coloured by living in Northern Ireland until 11 when the Troubles were starting to wind down. Oh, this track could have been the Milky Bar Kid ad tune, as I was as much a lookalike as the Milky Bar Kid lookalike in the video.
Age 11-20 (1985-1994)
4 - We're the Bunburys by Barry Gibb. I was never too good at football at school and rugby was too muddy (although I was devastating on the wing until knee injuries intervened). Cricket was ace, it gave me an outlet for wanting to run around that fit in perfectly with how my body has always been set up : short bursts of intense action with time to recover. Had some happy days with the cricket and collected a few trophies along the way. This track got adopted as one of the unofficial cricket anthems for a while.
5 - Who Wants To Live Forever by Queen. I have special reasons for posting a song with a theme like this ... A toast to memories, may they last forever even if we don't.
6 - More Than The Blues by All About Eve. I'm a huge All About Eve fan but may not have turned into one if not for this song. It's good but not their best (Apple Tree Man, Scarlet, Are You Lonely and many more) but it caught me when it came on the telly live (quite possibly that linked performance). They have a beautiful singer with a voice that's always been one of my favourites. Great songs, great band, amazing singer.
Age 21-30 (1995-2004) - oh wow this is a hell of a decade for me. University, starting work, big relationship and running straight into a traumatic breakup.
7 - Changes by David Bowie. (iTunes claims it's 1999). So many changes ... I went from school and living with the parents to university and surviving with new friends to starting work and very definitely surviving on my own. And then relationship to incoming breakup.
8 - Should be Intense by Alisha's Attic and I can't believe that's not on Youtube anywhere ... This was a fairly intense time, 2 big relationships (I don't go in for small flings, it's all my heart or nothing) plus all the studying for uni. Then needing to find a job after uni and bouncing round the country on placements for the first 2 years of work. Definitely intense. But also fun amongst the heartache.
9 - What Do I Do Now ? by Sleeper. Which was exactly what I was thinking after uni ... There's a curious contrast between Sleeper and All About Eve. Sleeper's singer outshone her band, which did them a lot of damage. All About Eve's singer was a vital part of their band, you thought of them as All About Eve and not Julianne Regan + band whereas Sleeper was definitely Louise Wiener + band. However, Julianne Regan is an infinitely better singer than Louise Wiener. It's curious the way things like that happen.
Age 31-37 (2005-now)
10 - It's All Over Bar The Crying by Garbage. This time started with me running straight into a major relationship breakup, which happened a fortnight after returning from the USA on a holiday of a lifetime type thing. It's incredibly rare that I'm brought to actual tears but this period had me very close to them on many occasions. It's not so much the shock of a "This Is The End" type thing, it's first dealing with the fallout where I had to lean heavily on the support of friends and then looking at a great gaping void where you thought the future used to be.
11 - If There's A Rocket Tie Me To It by Snow Patrol. Yes, I listen to male singers too occasionally! Snow Patrol can come out with a very raw emotional sound and while I don't show mine too much, it's the same under my skin.
12 - Don't Kiss The Broken One by Hannah Peel. Hannah Peel's music makes me grin. And this one kinda sums me up too. Despite thinking there might be something there a few times since the Ravenwolf (aka Evil Ex but I'm burying that codename from now) breakup, it's not been a mutual attraction. Rejection I can handle but I struggle to deal with being ignored, which is what those few times turned into. I also have a habit of chasing the unattainable while completely missing the obvious
31 to 37 too maudlin ? Perhaps I'm still living in 2005 and haven't moved on sufficiently yet. Or it's a reflection of how I'm feeling at the moment - I'm having trouble ignoring a sore back.
Last one - bonus track which sums me up : Still A Weirdo by KT Tunstall :-) And that's : Weird and proud of it.
Wednesday, March 07, 2012
Virtual or reality
It's still amazing how far games have come ...
Hell - that includes all types of virtual environments, which I touched on by mentioning how the models in 2001 look as good now as they did in 1968 when the film first came out. They don't use models any more though, movie graphics get done in computers giving incredible amounts of shininess.
Movies can cheat a little though, as it doesn't matter if it takes an hour to draw every frame if the completed thing isn't going to be on screens for a while. Games on the other hand, depend on getting their images drawn very quickly and the hardware needs to be able to react to what the player is doing.
It's no good having a view like :
If it comes on screen like the computer hamsters have their easel and brushes out, that's no good. Bit like our machines at work at the moment when they do the daily virus scan (which is irrelevant with cloud data anyway). No - a gamer needs the graphics to :
Not slow when things get busy,
Not be too jerky,
And not interfere with the actual game play.
Think of if you're driving and are blinking your eyes closed half the time. It's tough. (Albeit highly tempting with the standard of driving at the moment). That's what poor "frames per second" feels like as a gamer. The world is going on around you but you can only affect it when your eyes are open. To have good playability, games need images like the one above to come at at least 30 frames per second, preferably 60.
Uhoh - think I just detected a trace of philosophy coming from this addled brain. I promise to stop that.
So - you don't really need graphics of the quality above, you need them to keep up with what's happening. But it's awesome when you can have your cake and not have it go straight on your hips. I was quite pleased when Skyrim told me it would be happy on maximum detail with my machine :-).
Here's another pic :
That's from high up in a town called Whiterun, which is located on the top of a hill. It makes for a spectacular view. The detail is incredible too. It puts other games like Star Wars Old Republic to shame, that one looks fairly crude in comparison. Deus Ex Human Revolution looked pretty good too but a key difference there is that DXHR has closed environments, Skyrim is totally open. Those forests over there - you can walk to them.
It also helps that, for a change, it's a Bethesda game that I seem to be getting on with ... I've got bored with their earlier efforts quite early. They allow a lot of bugs to get unleashed in the release versions of their games.
That quality does look awesome though. The wildlife areas are just as detailed and colourful as you might see out in the countryside. Possibly richer colours too cos you can cheat with the contrast on the monitor. With patches, the water looks incredible too. Instead of going for a certain visual style like games like Warcraft do, they're looking for Ultra Real which helps with getting the player immersed in the game. Wonder if that's why SWTOR didn't catch me ?
And you can probably guess what I'm going to be up to very soon ... More Skyrim !
Last thing though - it didn't look good for our hero earlier :
(clicky on the various pics for higher res)
Oh - Real vs Virtual - the view from Whiterun is better than the view from Snowdon. But that's because as we reached the summit, all the fog rolled in hiding the view ! Which is what they used to do in old games, they'd fog away the long distance stuff so the machine wouldn't need to spend time drawing it.
PS If that guard says "but I took an arrow to the knee" again ...
Hell - that includes all types of virtual environments, which I touched on by mentioning how the models in 2001 look as good now as they did in 1968 when the film first came out. They don't use models any more though, movie graphics get done in computers giving incredible amounts of shininess.
Movies can cheat a little though, as it doesn't matter if it takes an hour to draw every frame if the completed thing isn't going to be on screens for a while. Games on the other hand, depend on getting their images drawn very quickly and the hardware needs to be able to react to what the player is doing.
It's no good having a view like :
If it comes on screen like the computer hamsters have their easel and brushes out, that's no good. Bit like our machines at work at the moment when they do the daily virus scan (which is irrelevant with cloud data anyway). No - a gamer needs the graphics to :
Not slow when things get busy,
Not be too jerky,
And not interfere with the actual game play.
Think of if you're driving and are blinking your eyes closed half the time. It's tough. (Albeit highly tempting with the standard of driving at the moment). That's what poor "frames per second" feels like as a gamer. The world is going on around you but you can only affect it when your eyes are open. To have good playability, games need images like the one above to come at at least 30 frames per second, preferably 60.
Uhoh - think I just detected a trace of philosophy coming from this addled brain. I promise to stop that.
So - you don't really need graphics of the quality above, you need them to keep up with what's happening. But it's awesome when you can have your cake and not have it go straight on your hips. I was quite pleased when Skyrim told me it would be happy on maximum detail with my machine :-).
Here's another pic :
That's from high up in a town called Whiterun, which is located on the top of a hill. It makes for a spectacular view. The detail is incredible too. It puts other games like Star Wars Old Republic to shame, that one looks fairly crude in comparison. Deus Ex Human Revolution looked pretty good too but a key difference there is that DXHR has closed environments, Skyrim is totally open. Those forests over there - you can walk to them.
It also helps that, for a change, it's a Bethesda game that I seem to be getting on with ... I've got bored with their earlier efforts quite early. They allow a lot of bugs to get unleashed in the release versions of their games.
That quality does look awesome though. The wildlife areas are just as detailed and colourful as you might see out in the countryside. Possibly richer colours too cos you can cheat with the contrast on the monitor. With patches, the water looks incredible too. Instead of going for a certain visual style like games like Warcraft do, they're looking for Ultra Real which helps with getting the player immersed in the game. Wonder if that's why SWTOR didn't catch me ?
And you can probably guess what I'm going to be up to very soon ... More Skyrim !
Last thing though - it didn't look good for our hero earlier :
Oh - Real vs Virtual - the view from Whiterun is better than the view from Snowdon. But that's because as we reached the summit, all the fog rolled in hiding the view ! Which is what they used to do in old games, they'd fog away the long distance stuff so the machine wouldn't need to spend time drawing it.
PS If that guard says "but I took an arrow to the knee" again ...
Tuesday, March 06, 2012
Movies - that's a no brainer
With the hyperactivity lately, I've been going up and coming down at total random lately ...
Tonight it's a case of getting the shopping in (I found a place that recycles carrier bags - hurrah!) and then crashing ... Not under the blanket type crashing (would really disrupt my sleep pattern and make me more tired) but I've gone for a movie that in no way will need rational thought. I'm feeling so tired that I'm not even jumping at the explosions. (Not long now until Easter and I'll really need the week off by then)
That reminds me - it's too long since the Crazie Mob went to the cinema, a fact reinforced by me having a pair of Vue vouchers in my wallet that expire at the end of this month ... (Anyone wanna help me use them ?)
So what's on now - even though my brain feels fried and my body wrung out, I'm still in that restless state of needing to do Something. It think it's that fried brain still cooking away. That's a contrast from the hyperactivity - yesterday I had so much energy left over I nearly ran around the block to start conditioning training.
Right - at the moment it's Battle : Los Angeles. Be careful if you buy this, as there's a mockbuster called Battle Of Los Angeles which in no way compares to this one starring Aaron Eckhart and Michelle Rodriguez. It's an action movie of the highest quality : great visuals and unrelenting action. It'll keep you glued if you're a fan of action movies.
Recently I've also watched :
2001 Space Odyssey - This is a must see movie and still looks great 44 years after it was made. They got the science right (it's an Arthur C Clarke!) and what gets put on screen looks as good as what CGI does these days. Trouble is, it also falls into the trap that Arthur C Clarke stories fall into - they're decent stories but there's something missing - reader/watcher involvement. Kinda like a lecture where the lecturer doesn't appear to care if people are listening. The notes and subject may be amazing but his audience is off in the clouds somewhere.
2012 - another of the leave brain with popcorn seller. It's a decent movie, which I'll watch a few times more. But it falls into the AI trap of having too many endings. There's unnecessary bits of story injected that stretch the tale out that little bit more. Decent movie but stretched.
The Day After Tomorrow - another of the awesome visuals. And it's carried really well by Dennis Quaid. I still enjoy this movie even though I've seen it a silly number of times.
RED - this is the comic book derived one with Bruce Willis, John Malcovich, Morgan Freeman and the ever gorgeous Helen Mirren. This is just sheer fun as the watcher is carried along with the Mary-Louise Parker character.
I've been watching more but my brain is at that crispy fried state where I can't remember them ...
And there's a huge amount more in the collection (dvd and bluray) to go !
And tonight's shopping trip just happened to refill the popcorn supply ...
It could well be a couple of Conan movies next (not bought the newest one yet). Love the music from the original Conan.
What to do later - I will definitely be under the shower until the water runs cold (baking my back under the sun would do too but the chances of that are ... slim to remote). But I think gaming would be frustrating in my current state of brain.
Tonight it's a case of getting the shopping in (I found a place that recycles carrier bags - hurrah!) and then crashing ... Not under the blanket type crashing (would really disrupt my sleep pattern and make me more tired) but I've gone for a movie that in no way will need rational thought. I'm feeling so tired that I'm not even jumping at the explosions. (Not long now until Easter and I'll really need the week off by then)
That reminds me - it's too long since the Crazie Mob went to the cinema, a fact reinforced by me having a pair of Vue vouchers in my wallet that expire at the end of this month ... (Anyone wanna help me use them ?)
So what's on now - even though my brain feels fried and my body wrung out, I'm still in that restless state of needing to do Something. It think it's that fried brain still cooking away. That's a contrast from the hyperactivity - yesterday I had so much energy left over I nearly ran around the block to start conditioning training.
Right - at the moment it's Battle : Los Angeles. Be careful if you buy this, as there's a mockbuster called Battle Of Los Angeles which in no way compares to this one starring Aaron Eckhart and Michelle Rodriguez. It's an action movie of the highest quality : great visuals and unrelenting action. It'll keep you glued if you're a fan of action movies.
Recently I've also watched :
2001 Space Odyssey - This is a must see movie and still looks great 44 years after it was made. They got the science right (it's an Arthur C Clarke!) and what gets put on screen looks as good as what CGI does these days. Trouble is, it also falls into the trap that Arthur C Clarke stories fall into - they're decent stories but there's something missing - reader/watcher involvement. Kinda like a lecture where the lecturer doesn't appear to care if people are listening. The notes and subject may be amazing but his audience is off in the clouds somewhere.
2012 - another of the leave brain with popcorn seller. It's a decent movie, which I'll watch a few times more. But it falls into the AI trap of having too many endings. There's unnecessary bits of story injected that stretch the tale out that little bit more. Decent movie but stretched.
The Day After Tomorrow - another of the awesome visuals. And it's carried really well by Dennis Quaid. I still enjoy this movie even though I've seen it a silly number of times.
RED - this is the comic book derived one with Bruce Willis, John Malcovich, Morgan Freeman and the ever gorgeous Helen Mirren. This is just sheer fun as the watcher is carried along with the Mary-Louise Parker character.
I've been watching more but my brain is at that crispy fried state where I can't remember them ...
And there's a huge amount more in the collection (dvd and bluray) to go !
And tonight's shopping trip just happened to refill the popcorn supply ...
It could well be a couple of Conan movies next (not bought the newest one yet). Love the music from the original Conan.
What to do later - I will definitely be under the shower until the water runs cold (baking my back under the sun would do too but the chances of that are ... slim to remote). But I think gaming would be frustrating in my current state of brain.
Monday, March 05, 2012
Who needs date accuracy anyway
TBB just shared this one on Facebook which made me laugh :
Especially as it's the perfect follow up to yesterday's apocalypse now post :-)
Oh - I'd need another car if an apocalypse came that wiped out the tech. The Lexus is a great car, after 6 months I'm convinced it was one of the best car decisions I've made. But ... one whiff of an EMP and all that tech will go byebye.
Now Chloe in my mum & dad's garage ... That's another matter. Chloe is a Triumph Spitfire Mk3 much like :
(Chloe is a blue one too but hasn't been out of the garage for many years due to crash damage)
In its day, the Spitfire was a direct competitor to the Spridget (Sprite & Midget were effectively the same car) and was a 2 seater convertible quite similar to today's MX-5. It's much more suitable than the Lexus for surviving an apocalypse as the only thing inside with a transistor is the radio (I think it's a transistor radio!). Not quite so sure about it having the room to carry Apocalypse Supplies though and from what I remember, there's not much room for an Anti Zombie Shotgun behind the seats.
It was a great little car though, which makes it time for the picture attribution : You could hire one like it here :-) - Greatescapes.co.uk. Chloe stays in the garage for now, awaiting its rebuild.
PS Since it appeared on FB, that calendar pic seems to have gone viral ...
Especially as it's the perfect follow up to yesterday's apocalypse now post :-)
Oh - I'd need another car if an apocalypse came that wiped out the tech. The Lexus is a great car, after 6 months I'm convinced it was one of the best car decisions I've made. But ... one whiff of an EMP and all that tech will go byebye.
Now Chloe in my mum & dad's garage ... That's another matter. Chloe is a Triumph Spitfire Mk3 much like :
In its day, the Spitfire was a direct competitor to the Spridget (Sprite & Midget were effectively the same car) and was a 2 seater convertible quite similar to today's MX-5. It's much more suitable than the Lexus for surviving an apocalypse as the only thing inside with a transistor is the radio (I think it's a transistor radio!). Not quite so sure about it having the room to carry Apocalypse Supplies though and from what I remember, there's not much room for an Anti Zombie Shotgun behind the seats.
It was a great little car though, which makes it time for the picture attribution : You could hire one like it here :-) - Greatescapes.co.uk. Chloe stays in the garage for now, awaiting its rebuild.
PS Since it appeared on FB, that calendar pic seems to have gone viral ...
Sunday, March 04, 2012
Disaster Movie
Been watching a few of these lately ... Yesterday it was 2012, today it's The Day After Tomorrow. I may watch The Core again at some point soon as I find that movie to be huge fun.
Kinda wondering - how would I do if a disaster struck ? I'm thinking of the big ones like asteroid strikes or alien invasion. Hollywood type stuff. Theories say that even if the big asteroid strike was on the other side of the world, there would be an electromagnetic pulse that would disable most of the world's technology. So for my disaster scenario, I'm going to assume that most of the technology we take for granted would be denied us.
Physically, I think I'd be ok. I'm roughly at an ideal weight (with a little ballast that I could draw on) and while I carry the long term injuries, I'm blessed with a kind of natural fitness that let me do the 26 miles + mountain in a day for Snowdon without any preparation. So while I'd need to work up fitness and conditioning to run any significant distance, I can walk forever.
Hell, I could play a full part in a cricket match tomorrow if there was one going. (And then I'd be solid stiff for the next 3 days while my muscles whinged at me)
Injury wise, while they can slow me down, there's nothing needing medication. And I can ignore them when I need to. I can go into a kind of survival mode where I keep myself going despite hurting myself. That's when things happen like Day 1 of a 5 day thing in Brecon Beacons where I slipped on ice and twisted my knee. I was able to keep up with the rest of the people. It was a point of pride for me that I'd carry my own gear instead of inflicting it on the others.
(I think that was lost on the people running the course, same as they didn't believe I could navigate.)
So I don't need any special medications to keep going, although I'd have severe trouble without my glasses.
Navigation without tech isn't an issue - I can read a contour map and translate it into a 3d visual inside my head. I'll then manipulate that visual into seeing where we are. Same with most things really, I'll see something mechanical and visualise it in my head. I can then usually figure out how and why it works. Especially if there's books to work from. One book I have has a person preparing for the end of the world by collecting books on how to do things. If technology goes, there's no internet to look things up on ...
I think I may read Lucifer's Hammer again some day ...
So yeah - I think I'd be able to keep myself going and I think I could figure out how to build things again (given those books). I'd probably be better than I am now, as one of the reasons for my back being stiff is that I don't use it enough.
That's not enough though. Surviving the aftermath of an apocalypse needs a bit more than the physical stuff. It needs courage but not enough that you take daft chances. Because without tech or hospitals, you don't have the backup in case those daft chances end badly. I have a lot of curiosity and that curiosity would bring zombies ...
I'd need to be around other people, mainly to give me the motivation but also as a "you're planning to do what - you're kidding right ?". I'm also more footsoldier than leader.
So yeah :
I think I'd handle it physically,
I could hunt the information I'd need to do stuff out of books,
I can figure things out on my own when I have to,
(did most of the maintenance on my Astra & Fiesta)
But I'd need to be around other people.
Because it's other people that give me the motivation I need to get me doing useful things, instead of just listening to music, watching stuff or gaming. And because I worry about people too, my World View depends on people I care about being happy. So that World View is a little shaky at the moment because two of the people I care deeply about are currently not happy at all ...
Yep - with the right people cheering me on, depending on me or just giving me a smile, I feel I can take on the world.
Kinda wondering - how would I do if a disaster struck ? I'm thinking of the big ones like asteroid strikes or alien invasion. Hollywood type stuff. Theories say that even if the big asteroid strike was on the other side of the world, there would be an electromagnetic pulse that would disable most of the world's technology. So for my disaster scenario, I'm going to assume that most of the technology we take for granted would be denied us.
Physically, I think I'd be ok. I'm roughly at an ideal weight (with a little ballast that I could draw on) and while I carry the long term injuries, I'm blessed with a kind of natural fitness that let me do the 26 miles + mountain in a day for Snowdon without any preparation. So while I'd need to work up fitness and conditioning to run any significant distance, I can walk forever.
Hell, I could play a full part in a cricket match tomorrow if there was one going. (And then I'd be solid stiff for the next 3 days while my muscles whinged at me)
Injury wise, while they can slow me down, there's nothing needing medication. And I can ignore them when I need to. I can go into a kind of survival mode where I keep myself going despite hurting myself. That's when things happen like Day 1 of a 5 day thing in Brecon Beacons where I slipped on ice and twisted my knee. I was able to keep up with the rest of the people. It was a point of pride for me that I'd carry my own gear instead of inflicting it on the others.
(I think that was lost on the people running the course, same as they didn't believe I could navigate.)
So I don't need any special medications to keep going, although I'd have severe trouble without my glasses.
Navigation without tech isn't an issue - I can read a contour map and translate it into a 3d visual inside my head. I'll then manipulate that visual into seeing where we are. Same with most things really, I'll see something mechanical and visualise it in my head. I can then usually figure out how and why it works. Especially if there's books to work from. One book I have has a person preparing for the end of the world by collecting books on how to do things. If technology goes, there's no internet to look things up on ...
I think I may read Lucifer's Hammer again some day ...
So yeah - I think I'd be able to keep myself going and I think I could figure out how to build things again (given those books). I'd probably be better than I am now, as one of the reasons for my back being stiff is that I don't use it enough.
That's not enough though. Surviving the aftermath of an apocalypse needs a bit more than the physical stuff. It needs courage but not enough that you take daft chances. Because without tech or hospitals, you don't have the backup in case those daft chances end badly. I have a lot of curiosity and that curiosity would bring zombies ...
I'd need to be around other people, mainly to give me the motivation but also as a "you're planning to do what - you're kidding right ?". I'm also more footsoldier than leader.
So yeah :
I think I'd handle it physically,
I could hunt the information I'd need to do stuff out of books,
I can figure things out on my own when I have to,
(did most of the maintenance on my Astra & Fiesta)
But I'd need to be around other people.
Because it's other people that give me the motivation I need to get me doing useful things, instead of just listening to music, watching stuff or gaming. And because I worry about people too, my World View depends on people I care about being happy. So that World View is a little shaky at the moment because two of the people I care deeply about are currently not happy at all ...
Yep - with the right people cheering me on, depending on me or just giving me a smile, I feel I can take on the world.
Thursday, March 01, 2012
The nut ! It moves !
Finally ...
Found a tool that let me budge those rusty nuts ... If only ever so slightly. I've given up on the loo repair for now, as multiple things are conspiring against the lazy solution :
Rusty nuts
Lack of access
(It only took so long before starting the repair because I knew I'd need to have the heating turned off with the mains water and I didn't want to freeze).
It's actually the lack of access that's the killer, a friend at work lent me a pair of small molegrips that managed to turn one of the rusty nuts about 10 degrees. But that was it because, even though they are tiny teeny molegrips, there's just not enough room around the nuts to get a tool in.
So I'll leave it another few days (cos I'm currently sick of the job and am having severe* energy issues right now) for frustration to ease away. Then I'll look seriously at replacement loos and methods of switching them over. I'm pretty confident I can do that job, although I might need a hand with the lifting. All my strength is in my legs, there's not much in my arms.
*(had something at start of the week that bit back - either bad milk or a definite "avoid pizza for like - forever")
Talking of strength ... There's someone out there who is being a total legend at the moment.
Not only is she dealing with an incredibly difficult situation at home and letting no trace of that leak through to work, she's also caught up in what is akin to a custody battle at work. They're moving all the teams around soon ... with my project being one of the ones which is getting moved. We'd like to keep our best people with us though and this lady definitely counts as The Best. She's been one of the reasons our project has been so good to work for over the years.
And, as is common in a lot of custody battles, there are people who aren't playing fair which just makes the situation that much tougher to live through.
I know it's affecting her but you wouldn't notice in how she's keeping going. But she is deserving of all the hugs she can get.
Earlier, I had a look back at the first days of this blog to see how I handled a similar home situation and the answer is : I ran (again). In my case, although initially I reacted ok I was utterly dumbstruck by my partner wanting to move out. I had an idea it was coming, due to a couple of events combined with a growing feeling about it. So when the time came, my reaction was along the lines of "if you love them enough, you have to let them go". But not fighting it doesn't make it any easier, I was hurting a lot and really didn't want to see her again because at a deep level, I felt betrayed. Being hurt makes us do things a saner mind would be horrified at.
Even though I was ready for it, I had trouble adjusting to it and didn't come to terms with that breakup for a very long time. It helped that I have a bunch of awesome friends (and an understanding boss) who were amazing in having the patience to help me through it. I guess I'm still coming to terms with that break up and I need to properly talk it through with someone I trust utterly. (I'd count candidates on the fingers of 1 hand).
Oh - what did I mean by running from it ? I'd just started playing Warcraft together with some friends at work and basically buried myself in work and that game for the next 6 months until my brain nearly imploded on me. The snapping point came when I felt no longer able to do my part as the Guild Leader due to stuff going on.
The friend who's struggling at the moment is most definitely one of those who helped me through that time. Just by being around at work and listening when I needed to babble insanely (I can't actually remember too much of around that time).
And through that listening, she's definitely earned as much time as she asks of me for listening, talking or even just getting away from the stress with a bit of Sleepy insanity. But I'd do that anyway ! That's me - help a friend before sorting out my own stuff :-)
Last thing to post is a picture I've used before :
PS It made me grin reading this post where I first started using codenames, with the Snow Queen promptly guessing it straight away as always. It shows how long my project has been great to work for. And there was 5 years before I started the blog too :-)
Found a tool that let me budge those rusty nuts ... If only ever so slightly. I've given up on the loo repair for now, as multiple things are conspiring against the lazy solution :
Rusty nuts
Lack of access
(It only took so long before starting the repair because I knew I'd need to have the heating turned off with the mains water and I didn't want to freeze).
It's actually the lack of access that's the killer, a friend at work lent me a pair of small molegrips that managed to turn one of the rusty nuts about 10 degrees. But that was it because, even though they are tiny teeny molegrips, there's just not enough room around the nuts to get a tool in.
So I'll leave it another few days (cos I'm currently sick of the job and am having severe* energy issues right now) for frustration to ease away. Then I'll look seriously at replacement loos and methods of switching them over. I'm pretty confident I can do that job, although I might need a hand with the lifting. All my strength is in my legs, there's not much in my arms.
*(had something at start of the week that bit back - either bad milk or a definite "avoid pizza for like - forever")
Talking of strength ... There's someone out there who is being a total legend at the moment.
Not only is she dealing with an incredibly difficult situation at home and letting no trace of that leak through to work, she's also caught up in what is akin to a custody battle at work. They're moving all the teams around soon ... with my project being one of the ones which is getting moved. We'd like to keep our best people with us though and this lady definitely counts as The Best. She's been one of the reasons our project has been so good to work for over the years.
And, as is common in a lot of custody battles, there are people who aren't playing fair which just makes the situation that much tougher to live through.
I know it's affecting her but you wouldn't notice in how she's keeping going. But she is deserving of all the hugs she can get.
Earlier, I had a look back at the first days of this blog to see how I handled a similar home situation and the answer is : I ran (again). In my case, although initially I reacted ok I was utterly dumbstruck by my partner wanting to move out. I had an idea it was coming, due to a couple of events combined with a growing feeling about it. So when the time came, my reaction was along the lines of "if you love them enough, you have to let them go". But not fighting it doesn't make it any easier, I was hurting a lot and really didn't want to see her again because at a deep level, I felt betrayed. Being hurt makes us do things a saner mind would be horrified at.
Even though I was ready for it, I had trouble adjusting to it and didn't come to terms with that breakup for a very long time. It helped that I have a bunch of awesome friends (and an understanding boss) who were amazing in having the patience to help me through it. I guess I'm still coming to terms with that break up and I need to properly talk it through with someone I trust utterly. (I'd count candidates on the fingers of 1 hand).
Oh - what did I mean by running from it ? I'd just started playing Warcraft together with some friends at work and basically buried myself in work and that game for the next 6 months until my brain nearly imploded on me. The snapping point came when I felt no longer able to do my part as the Guild Leader due to stuff going on.
The friend who's struggling at the moment is most definitely one of those who helped me through that time. Just by being around at work and listening when I needed to babble insanely (I can't actually remember too much of around that time).
And through that listening, she's definitely earned as much time as she asks of me for listening, talking or even just getting away from the stress with a bit of Sleepy insanity. But I'd do that anyway ! That's me - help a friend before sorting out my own stuff :-)
Last thing to post is a picture I've used before :
PS It made me grin reading this post where I first started using codenames, with the Snow Queen promptly guessing it straight away as always. It shows how long my project has been great to work for. And there was 5 years before I started the blog too :-)
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