I've had trouble with my insides for a good while. My insides make too much acid and that gets pretty uncomfortable. Especially when attempting to get to sleep.
(Last night was a doozy ! Both me and my mum had the fish at the pub and we were both affected by nasty cases of acid as we discovered this morning)
But. There is much to be said for taking a disadvantage and turning it around to your advantage.
In this case, I've been keeping it quiet but for the last few months I've been undergoing experimental gene therapy. I had a little foretaste of this after eating the garlic bread at Turtle Beach, burping and I'm sure a little bit of flame came out.
Of my mouth ! Not the other end. That could have been bad.
But yeah ! It sounded like a great idea. Start with that excess hydrochloric acid that's being made. Add something to liberate all that flammable hydrogen. It also helps if it makes something tasty. Salt is good and one half of that is Sodium. This video has a demonstration involving Aluminium. Sodium is really reactive though (think - explosive in water) so the gene docs had to make a few modifications so that I wouldn't go the way of pigeons that have been fed baking soda laden bread. (Don't do that folks)
We thought about Iron too and I do have a taste for Irn-Bru (made in Scotland from girders) but Iron isn't quite reactive enough for what we wanted.
I'm getting sidetracked.
A few bits of gene modification later, a strengthening of the stomach lining, addition of a second stomach as a reaction chamber and some membranes behind my front teeth as igniters too and ...
I breathe fire now. How cool is that !
Bit of a drawback when trying to put out the candles though. One of the Double D boys has a birthday today ! Happy birthday !
It's great for the cooking too.
I picked up more marshmallows too this weekend ! Totally looking forward to trying out the new abilities on those. It's also a good way of disposing of the junkmail we all get too. Smoke alarm doesn't like it but ... smoke alarms are a bit rubbish anyway.
One thing I'm not looking forward to are the cramps they warned me about. My metabolism was always a bit odd when it came to cramping and dehydration and salt balance. I'd like salt bomb myself into cramping by having too much salt on my dinner after running around. And that Sodium Chloride waste product from the hydrogen production could well lead to muscles that want to go bang.
I guess that just means lots of water or. Come to think of it .... Something more flammable to increase the flame effect !
YES. DEFINITELY.
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